THE SPY
The Spy trades
exclusively in
invisible money.
he Spy hasn’t touched paper
money since the late-’90s, when
bands of street magicians roamed
the street, thrusting decks of
cards into the hands of
unsuspecting commuters. The Spy
went to hand over a £5 note in
exchange for a new copy of
Rollercoaster by B*Witched – the
destroyed during a tobogganing
incident, as was the trend at the time – when it was
intercepted by a figure wearing a leather jacket and
aggressively sharp goatee.Not breaking eye contact, the wiry miscreant waved a
hand,and, in a flash of smoke, The Spy’s money vanished.
A quick search of his unconscious body revealed no sign
of the note, and, with the sound of sirens growing closer,
The Spy was forced to retreat sans the joy of an Irish pop
quartet whoreallyloved theme parks. And yet, it seems,
some didn’t learn the same lessons about the illusive and
fleeting nature of currency. Take corporations, for
instance. Theylovemoney. Seriously, go up to a
corporation and ask, “If you love money so much, why
don’t youmarryit.” They’ll
reply, “We did, though. We
married the money.”
Activision, Ubisoft and
EA each expressed their
love recently through
earnings calls, all
appropriately (read:depressingly) held in the proximity of Valentine’s Day.
While much of the calls were just a series of extended
smooching noises, they were interspersed with sprinkles
of information about each publisher’s upcoming plans.
Ubisoft, for instance, took time out from bragging
about The Division 2 picking up more PC pre-orders than
its predecessor (friendly The Spy reminder – don’t
preorder games) to tease plans to release three to four
AAA games in the next fiscal year. While they named no
names, Ubisoft has already mentioned that Assassin’s
Creedis skipping this year, and both Far Cry New Dawn
andThe Division 2are releasing before the fiscal year
begins in April. The one game we do know about is Skull
& Bones, due sometime in 2019. As for the rest... Just
Dance?Splinter Cell? Something involving Rabbids? It’s
probably something involving Rabbids.
Activision used its earnings call to do whatever the
opposite of winning hearts and minds is called. But
aroundthat, CFO Dennis Durkin revealed that Blizzard
was “not planning a major frontline release” in 2019. All is
not lost though as “looking further ahead, Blizzard’s
pipeline of PC, console, and mobile content is richer than
ever”. That is certainly one way to phrase the fact that a
studio will release some games one day.MONEY FOR GAME’S SAKE
It was also revealed that the non-Blizzard bit of
Activision Blizzard – the bit that is almost exclusively
dedicated to releasing Call of Duty games – will be
releasing aCall of Duty game. And that the
aforementionedCall of Duty game is likely to have a
singleplayer campaign. The Spy would claim this was
notable coming after the exclusively multiplayer Black
Ops 4,but the English language called and demanded The
Spy stopped torturing the word notable.
EA also had an earnings call, which... wait a second,
what’s that? The Spy went
to brush an errant hair out
of The Spy’s darting eye and
noticed something tucked
behind The Spy’s ear. Is it?
Could it be? The Spy’s £
note! Theprestige!
The Spy1
This was quite the time for
Battlefieldprojects but,
lookingback,themostinteresting
isBattlefield Heroes.Atthattime
itsfree-to-playPvPplus
microtransactions model felt like a
terrifying risk rather than a standard
offeringandaswenotedinthemag,
“ThisisthefirsttimePCGamerhas
everputafreegameonitscover.”(^3)
Before he got famous with
Gunpoint, Tom Francis made Blunt
Force Trauma for PCG’s in-house 24 hour
game jam. BFT features breezeblocks
falling on people’s heads. “His head got
stoved in,” says Tom, “It was hilarious.”
Graham Smith, meanwhile, focused on a
Far Cry 2 text adventure and is now
developing Primetime Detective. Maybe
we should revisit this game jam idea...
(^2)
A brilliant
fan-made
Aperture Science
Handheld Portal
Device was so
spectacular we
had to ask creator
Harrison Krix
to share how it
was made!
ISSUE
199, April 2009
ON THE COVER
Battlefield
IN THE CHARTS
Number 1 – Tinchy
Stryder ft. N-Dubz
This month in... 2009
SOMETHING INVOLVING RABBIDS?
IT’S PROBABLY SOMETHING
INVOLVING RABBIDS
NEWS | OPINION | DEVELOPMENT
BUT WHO WATCHES THE SPY?
The Spy