T
he best thingabout the40s
isthe 40s!Iam43and Ihave
neverfelt better.Iamatmy
fittest,my healthiest,my
happiest andmy craziest best right
now. Manypeopleruethe passing of
theirteens,but trust me,Iwould not
want to trademy nowfor my past. My
40sare myteens.OfcourseIdon’t
look the samewayIdidasateenager,
butlife is allabout growingand evolv-
ing andchanging with time.
Youcan’t stopyour bodyfrom
ageing; the ideaistoembraceage
gracefullyand makethe most of it. I
am waiting to meetmy wrinkled old
self. This whole ideaofwrinkles and
stretchmarks as signs of ugliness
is so passé.The other dayIposted a
pictureinwhichafew of my stretch
marks showedand people started
commenting on howgross they are.
Whatisgross about stretchmarks?
WheneverIsee those onmy body,I
smile... theyremind me ofmy beau-
y boy. Childbirthchanges
y. WhyshouldIhavetoh ide
y chmarks or feel ashamed or
p g ti c? They ar emymedals
o ot erhood!
it is not just stretchmarks.
f en told on socialmediathat
h ld dress according tomy age.
Wh d es that mean?Youwear
h y uf eelcomfortable in andit
i y personalchoice! Youhavea
p bl mif Iwear something that
d n’t suityour taste,you ha ve a
p blem thatIam divorced, you
h e aproblem thatIhave found
l again, youhaveaproblem
mypartner happens to be
y nger thanme.Itm ight not
crossedyour mind,but
r eallycareabout your
p s.Iamnot heretop lease
y y, let alone nameless and
people on social media.
DYTOTAKE OFF
hi k he real problemisnot age.
i finds waysto shamewomen
h hout their lives. If youare
ga nd independentwoman,
y b omeasoft target. People are
il li imidatedby an opinionated,
hi ki gworkingwoman and the
b p on they have is slander. I
h b n working sinceIwas 17 and
p pl have alwayshad something or
h h r to sayabout my personal
c o ces .I wasoften told thatIam a
other and should dresslike
one .Why can’t amotherlook
hot and sexy? Whyisb eing
sexy bad?Women of allages
ar esexual beings. They are
somebody’s mother or wife!I
to reachahappy space.Ihavealways
followedthe age-old ritual of eating
right,working out, havingahealthy
lifestyle.Itreflect sinternallyaswell
as externally. But what peopl esee is
onlythe external manifestations.
Ialway ssay thatifyou start
taking careofyour bodywhen you
areyoung,youwillreapthe benefits
as yougrowolder.Asy oungsters,
we takeour bo diesand our lifestyles
forgrantedbecause it is so easyto
bounce back.Post 40,everything
declines.Your bodycan’t defy
gravity anymore, everything starts
to sag, ailments creepin, recovery
slows, so youneed to takeextra care
of yourself andIdon’t saythis in a
narcissisticway. But it helps ifyou
startthe processearly on; youneed
to startpreppin gyour body forold
age when youare still inyour teens.
Iwas adancer soIalwayshad to
followacertainregimen.Thathas
definitelyhelped.
ButImust admitinthe lastfive
years,myapproachtof itness and
life ingeneral haschangedalot
and forthe better.Inf act, Ithink I
have becomeawhole newperson.
Thereisa lotmoreawareness about
things. Certainchanges inyour
life also callforcertainchanges in
yourself. WhenIfoundmyself goingthroughan emotional upheaval, I
told myself thatIneed tofocus on
myself andmy health.NowIwake
up early,livebycerta in rules,eat
home-cookedfood and eatont ime,
finish dinnerby 7pm andsleep
early.Idon’t smokeata ll;Imight
have an occasional glass of wine.THE ROMANTIC
MOVEMENT
My approa ch to lo ve has also
changed.From being divorced to get-
ting intoarelationship,itw asn’t easy.
Youwant to protectyourself from
gettin ghurt. ButIamsogladthatI
got myself out there. That hasalot to
do withthis newme.
Relationships need love, affec-
tion, andnurture. They ar ehard
work.But Iamsoglad that love hap-
pened tome.Being in thisrelation-
ship trulyfeels amazing.
Thereare alot of women who
want to remain single and thatis
fine.Iknowsomanywomenwho
have embracedsinglehood andare
very happy. But forpeoplewho want
to find lo ve again, Iwould want to
say, don’t bescared. Go out there
and lookforlove. Love is abeautiful
feeling.Don’t le tlovedie.Don’t let
romancedie.Giveitasecond chance.
And maybeevenathirdorfourth or
fifth! Until itreallyworks out! Lo ve
doesn’t come with anagelimit. Trust
me on thisone.(As told to AnanyaGhosh)grew up inavery matriarchal family,
whichhas made me thewoman Iam.
If someone calls me sexyor hot, I
wear it onmy sleeve with dignity.
With age, Ihavebecome immune
to what people arethinkingors aying
about me.Today, Ireallydon’t give
adamnabout people’s perceptions.
Areyou payingmy bills? Whyshould
Iowe youanexplanation?Kuchhtoh
log kahengelogon ka kaam haikehna.
Ideally, when youare young you
arereadytot akeont he worldand as
youget olderyouget morerigid. But
formeitworkedinr everse.Ireached
apoint when Itoldmyself, f*** it, I
will notcareabout what people think
of me.Thatdoes not mean that Ihave
built abubblearound me,but I’ ve
decided toblank out the noise.
Also withage,IthinkIhave
becomefarmorereceptive to ideas.I
wasalway saccepting of newthings,
butwhen Iwas young, maybeIwould
think 10 times before experimenting
with something new.
Iam43today,and women my age
have abetter shelflife.The opportu-
nities areadime adozen.Bollywood
is still markedly ageist, butthen itis
also sexist, misogynist, etc.,etc. But
avenues aresurel yopeningupfor
women my age.Soitisimportant to
be fittodeliver your best.THE INSIDESTORY
Fitnessisi mportant at anyage.But
it is not somethingyou do to stop the
ageing process.Workouts release en-
dorphins,thosefeel-good hormones,
and they makeyou happy. That
refl ects in thewayyou lo ok,your
emotional state andyour approa ch
to lifeing eneral.Your mind and
bodyhas to work in tandemforyou“BOLLYWOOD IS MARKEDLY
AGEIST, BUTTHEN IT IS
ALSO SEXIST, MISOGYNISTETC.”“THE REAL
PROBLEMISNOT
AGE.SOCIETY
FINDSWAYS TO
SHAMEWOMEN
THROUGHOUT
THEIR LIVES. AND IF
YOUARE ASTRONG
AND INDEPENDENT
WOMAN,YOU
BECOME A
SOFTTARGET”“Peoplearestill
intimidatedby
anopinionated,
thinking,working
womanandthe
bestweaponthey
haveisslander!”tiful baby boy. Childbirth changes
the body. Why should I have to hide
my stretch marks or feel ashamed or
apologetic? They are my medals
of motherhood!
But it is not just stretch marks.
I am often told on social media that
I should dress according to my age.
What does that mean? You wear
what you feel comfortable in and it
is your personal choice! You have a
problem if I wear something that
doesn’t suit your taste, you have a
problem that I am divorced, you
have a problem that I have found
love again, you have a problem
that my partner happens to be
younger than me. It might not
have crossed your mind, but
I don’t really care about your
problems. I am not here to please
anybody, let alone nameless and
faceless people on social media.
READY TO TAKE OFF
I think the real problem is not age.
Society finds ways to shame women
throughout their lives. If you are
a strong and independent woman,
you become a soft target. People are
still intimidated by an opinionated,
thinking working woman and the
best weapon they have is slander. I
have been working since I was 17 and
people have always had something or
the other to say about my personal
choices. I was often told that I am a
mother and should dress like
one. Why can’t a mother look
are sexual beings. They are
not just somebody’s mother or wife! I
JUNE 30, 2019