Brunch Mumbai – June 29, 2019

indulge

14

spectator

web

ON THE

FormoreSPECTATOR

columnsby Seema

Goswami, log on to

hindustantimes.com/

brunch.Follow her on

Twitter at twitter.com/

seemagoswami

Theviewsexpressedby

the columnist arepersonal

Insomnia has

asilverlining;

one cangeta

lot ofreading

donewhile

the rest of

the household

sleeps

seema goswami

custom,didwhatwePunjabiscallllmathateko.Thatwentoff

reasonably well,buttryingtogetuprightafterwardswasanother

ssstttooorrryyyaaallltttooogggeeettthhheeerrr.IIIttttttooooookkkaaabbbooouuutttfffiiivvveeeetttrrriiieeesss,mmmyyymmmuuussscccllleeessscccrrreeeaaakkkiiinnnggg

protestallthewhile,befor eIcouldgetupf romallfours.All

of this renderedallthemorehorri ficbyt hepile-upof people

waitingbehindmeandthesympatheticeyesof thosewho

witnessedmypitiful attemp ts.

%Lowchairs and sofas have turned intomy mortal enemies

while Iwasn’t payingattention. Now, theysu ck me into their

contours so efficientlythatmoreoften than not Ihavetoa sk for

ahelping hand (ortwo) togetout of them.Thesame humiliation

awaits when the seating hassquishycushions,the kindyousink

into thankfullywhenyouarriveand struggle togetout of when it

is time toleave.

%Stairsarenolonger my friend s. Insteadtheyhave morphedinto

atortur edevicetha tIattemptatmy ownperil.Iamb reat hless

aftertwoflights(it’stheasthma,Itellmyself reassuringly) and

everyflightafterthatbringsmeclosertothat state whenyour

heartisb eatingsoloudly thatyouthinkitwillburstoutofyour

chest.Andthewaydownisnoeasier, withmyknee stwingingwith

everyste p.

%Myda ys of drinkinglikeafishandeatinglikeapigar eover.

Ohokay, Iexaggerate .ThetruthisthatIstillgoonbingesand

bendersonceinawhile.ButInolonger wake upfreshasadaisy

thenextda y. Instead,ittakesmeaweekto recoverfromaday’s

excesses,andeverysingletimethathappens, itseemslessandless

worthwhiletoindulgemyself inthefirstplace.

%Then,toaddinsulttoinjury,thereismyslowingmetabolism.No

matterhowmanycaloriesIcutfrom my dietan dhow manysteps

Iaddto myFitbit,thestubbornbulgesaroundmybody simply

refusetobudge. Andwhileit getseasieran deasiertoputonweight

–evenane xtrapieceoftoastatbreakfastdoesthetrick–ith as

becomenighimpos sibletoloseit.

%Andfinally,thereistheinsomniathat keepsmet ossin gand

turninguntiltheearly hoursof themorning,andmakesmewake

uptiredeveryday.Butthiscloud,atleas t,hasasilverlining.Ican

getalotof readingdonewhilethe restof thehouseholdsleeps,and

somehowthatmakesit allworthwhile.

Journalist and author Seema Goswami hasbeen acolumnist withHT Brunchsince 2004

Spectatorappearsevery fortnight

T

hereisnothingthatmakesmefeelmyagemorethana

long-haulfflllight.Gonearethedays wh enIwouldlook

fffooorrrwwwaaarrrdddtttooossspppeeennndddiiinnngggnnniiinnneeetttooo 111222 hhhooouuurrrsssiiinnnaaannnaaaiiirrrppplllaaannneee,

gettingstuck intoth echampagneandwatchingone

crapp ymovieafteranotheruntilitwastimetoland.Thelengthof

thequeuesatimmigrationneversucceededingettin gmed own.

AndthemomentIcheckedintoahotel,Iwaspullingclothesoutof

my suitcasetoheadoutforafancymeal.

That,sufficetosay, isnolongerthecase.Now,muchasIe njoy

goingonholida y, theverythoughtofalong-haulflightisenough

tostriketerrorintomy heart, whichItryto quellby preparingfor

everyeventuality. Iputto getheranin-flightmedicinebagfullof

anti-histaminesandothersleepingaids–whichIconsumewiththe

onlyglassofchampagneIallowmyself (drinkinganymorethan

thatplays havocwithmysugarlevels).Icarry my ownblanketso

thatIdon’tgetallergiesfromtheonesprovidedby theairlines .And

Ipackaneckpillowtok eepmyn ecksupportedwhileIreadabook

orwatchamovieinanattempttofallaslee p.

ButnomatterhowhardItrytohave arestfulflightthatwill

allowmetohitth egroundrunningattheotherend,itneverworks

outthatway.Theti rednessstartshittingmehalfway throughthe

flightandjustgetsworsean dworsewitheverypassinghour.Byt he

timetheflightlands,myb ackish urting ,myl egsarecramping,my

noseisstuffy ,andIfeellikea100yearsold.

Byth etimeIhavenegotiatedthehorrorsof theairportandgot

toth ehotel,allIcandoiscollapseweaklyont hebe dandwhisper,

“Roomservice?”tomyhusband(who,annoyingly enough,israring

togooutandexplore somerestauranthehascheckedoutonthe

Internet).Ittakesonegoodnight’ssleepinanormalbedbefore,

well,normalservicecanberesumed,asfarasIa mconcerned.

Sadly, thisisnottheonlyinstanceofmyagefinallycatch ing

upwithme.Thesedays, my lifeislitteredwiththesedailyindigni-

tiesof ageing,allof themdesignedtomake mefeeleveryoneof my

decadesandremindmethat oldagewillbeuponmesoonerthanI

daredhope.

Here is justarandom sampling of theagemarkers thatare a

partofmylifenow.Ifany of themsound familiar,well then

welcome to the Club of CreakingMiddle-Agers. (If theydon’t,

enjoyyouryouthwhile it lasts!)

%Ivisitedagurdwaraafteralongtimerecently, andasisthe

JUNE 30, 2019

Ph

oto

:S

HU

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EVERYMORSEL

MATTERS

WWWiiittthhhaaagggeee,iiitttgggeeetttsss

easier to put on

weight.Even an extra

piece of to astat

breakfast does

the trick!

seema gosseema goswamiwami

Counting Down...

Ifffageisjustanumber,

thhhenmineisup!