July• 2019 | 69HOT STUFF
What’s it called when eating
something exceptionally spicy
makes you feel exceptionally ill?
The editors of The Week were
wondering just that after a man
who gobbled down a superhot chili
pepper was rushed to the hospital.
The magazine’s clever readers coined
these pseudomedical terms:
Jalepaiño
Fire-arrhea
Hellitosis
Habañeurosis
Endoblasty
Roastacea
Firebromyalgia
Scarlet pepper fever
Incendiary bowel syndrome.
LOST IN TRANSLATION
A few years ago, I decided to visit
my sister who was living in France.
I assumed that most French would
speak English. I found that many
people spoke only their own
language and this included the
ticket inspector on the train. He
punched my ticket, then chatted
cordially for a bit, making several
expansive gestures. I simply
nodded from time to time to show
him that I was interested.
When he had gone, an
American tourist, also on the
train, leaned forward and asked
if I spoke French.
“No,” I admitted.
“Then that explains,” she said,
“why you didn’t bat an eyelid
when he told you that you were on
the wrong train.” Seen on the internetTWO CAN PLAY THIS GAME
I miss my old car. We would always
play this fun game where the engine
light would come on, and then I
would just call its bluff.
STAND-UP COMEDIAN AMY BUGGIf...
If you can sit quietly after
difficult news;
If in financial downturns you
remain perfectly calm;
If you can see your neighbours
travel to fantastic places
without a twinge of jealousy;
If you can eat happily whatever
is put on your plate;
If you can fall asleep after a day
of running around without a
drink or a pill;
If you can always find
contentment just where you are- you are probably a dog.
JACK KORNFIELD, AUTHOR