July• 2019 | 89NEED A DAY OFF?
Some excuses for missing work
are so silly they are almost
inspired. (Feel free to borrow
from these in the future.)
z The employee said that he
couldn’t come to work because his
fortune-teller had asked him not to
step out of the house or he would
suffer a brain haemorrhage.
z An employee refused to come to
work because his fish was unwell.
z The employee insisted he’d locked
himself in his house by mistake
and that the house did not have any
windows to crawl out of.
z An employee phoned to say
that he had been at the casino all
weekend and still had money left
to play with on Monday morning.
jobcluster.com
THAT’S THE BREAKS
The printer was broken, and no one
could figure out whose fault it was.
After arguing back and forth, our
supervisor took charge.
“We really don’t need to determine
who is responsible for this mess,” he
said. “We just want someone to take
the blame.” SUBMITTED BY ROBERT RAPPEVIL EYE
My boss says I intimidate the other
employees, so I just stared at him
until he apologised. Seen on the internetA fellow commuter walked onto
the train while talking on the
phone to his mother. From what
I could glean, he was trying to end
the conversation, but she wasn’t
having it. I say that because the
man finally declared in a loud,
exasperated voice, “No, I don’t
want to talk to the dog!”
SUBMITTED BY JENNIFER PAULYDogged
Determination“This is gobbledygook.
I asked for mumbo jumbo.”