Womankind – August 2019

55

painful, and even though every

woman seems able to do it - my

mother did it - I had a feeling I

wouldn’t be able to. But as the

months rolled by, I calmed down,

and I looked forward to having my

baby. And mine was a fast birth.

I was totally in love with her

the first time I saw her. The first

two months I was mostly at home

with her, but it’s difficult to be a

new mother and self-employed. It’s

difficult to get new ideas and focus

on my work when I’m so tired. It’s a

little bit better now, but two months

ago it was taxing. I gave birth on the

30 November, just before the Christ-

mas sale, which is the busiest time

for a goldsmith.

In some ways, it’s easy to be a

mother in Denmark, but it’s chal-

lenging too. Because when I am

not with her, my little baby, when

I have to go to work - I am over-

whelmed with guilt. I want to be

near her and not miss a thing. Be-

ing a mother is happiness and agony

all at once. In my case, the baby was

not planned. I wanted to become a

mother, but not now. And certainly

not in November!

My boyfriend Martin and I are

talking about marriage. Maybe one

day we will do it, but it’s not essen-

tial now. I think it’s almost more

normal to not get married these

days. Martin is an ethnologist, and

he is on paternity leave now. We

first met at a nightclub nine years

ago, but we didn’t really talk to each

other that night. We just sat beside

each other and exchanged looks. He

was drunk, and I was a bit shy. Then

a friend of mine gave him my num-

ber and he called me the following

day. We went out to get a coffee and

it just went from there. The secret

of our relationship is space - we are

not glued together. I’m not saying

it’s a problem for the couples that

Portraits LETTERS FROM COPENHAGEN

are, but for me relationships need

new input from the outside world.

Days go by smoothly. We wake

up at 5.30. We make some porridge

for our daughter and we go out for a

morning walk. We try to remember

to take some coffee because coffee

is very expensive in Copenhagen.

It can cost up to DKK40 (US$6).

We go for a walk to a cemetery near

our apartment. It’s so tranquil there

and full of flowers and trees; you can

see graves everywhere. When I first

moved to my apartment, I found

it creepy to be surrounded by dead

people. Now I love it - it’s so peace-

ful. Sometimes we read the names of

the graves we walk past. We walk for

two hours and then go back home.

Weather permitting, we go out again

in the afternoon.

It rains a lot in Denmark. Win-

ters especially are gloomy - dark and

cold. But now the weather is getting

better. Summer is here.

55

painful, and even though every
woman seems able to do it - my
mother did it - I had a feeling I
wouldn’t be able to. But as the
months rolled by, I calmed down,
and I looked forward to having my
baby. And mine was a fast birth.
I was totally in love with her
the first time I saw her. The first
two months I was mostly at home
with her, but it’s difficult to be a
new mother and self-employed. It’s
difficult to get new ideas and focus
on my work when I’m so tired. It’s a
little bit better now, but two months
ago it was taxing. I gave birth on the
30 November, just before the Christ-
mas sale, which is the busiest time
for a goldsmith.
In some ways, it’s easy to be a
mother in Denmark, but it’s chal-
lenging too. Because when I am
not with her, my little baby, when
I have to go to work - I am over-
whelmed with guilt. I want to be

near her and not miss a thing. Be-

ing a mother is happiness and agony

all at once. In my case, the baby was

not planned. I wanted to become a

mother, but not now. And certainly

not in November!

My boyfriend Martin and I are

talking about marriage. Maybe one

day we will do it, but it’s not essen-

tial now. I think it’s almost more

normal to not get married these

days. Martin is an ethnologist, and

he is on paternity leave now. We

first met at a nightclub nine years

ago, but we didn’t really talk to each

other that night. We just sat beside

each other and exchanged looks. He

was drunk, and I was a bit shy. Then

a friend of mine gave him my num-

ber and he called me the following

day. We went out to get a coffee and

it just went from there. The secret

of our relationship is space - we are

not glued together. I’m not saying

it’s a problem for the couples that

Portraits LETTERS FROM COPENHAGEN

are, but for me relationships need

new input from the outside world.

Days go by smoothly. We wake

up at 5.30. We make some porridge

for our daughter and we go out for a

morning walk. We try to remember

to take some coffee because coffee

is very expensive in Copenhagen.

It can cost up to DKK40 (US$6).

We go for a walk to a cemetery near

our apartment. It’s so tranquil there

and full of flowers and trees; you can

see graves everywhere. When I first

moved to my apartment, I found

it creepy to be surrounded by dead

people. Now I love it - it’s so peace-

ful. Sometimes we read the names of

the graves we walk past. We walk for

two hours and then go back home.

Weather permitting, we go out again

in the afternoon.

It rains a lot in Denmark. Win-

ters especially are gloomy - dark and

cold. But now the weather is getting

better. Summer is here.