Cosmopolitan UK – September 2019

COSMOPOLITAN· 119

Hey, we’ve all been there. So a problem shared is a problem halved... right?

WORST DATES EVER

Beforeourdrinkshadeven
arrived,mydatesaidhecondoned
cheating,“especiallyaftera couple
havehada babyandaren’thaving
muchsex”. Hethenaskedif I had
any“controversial”views– how
didI feelaboutsmackingnaughty
children,forinstance?
AS TOLD TO JENNIFER SAVIN AND WILLIAM FOXTON. PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES. *NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGEDRIA, 24

Hewasanhouranda halflate,so

I left.OnlyasI did,hearrivedand

followedme,shoutingthathewas

inlovewithme.Later,heblocked

meonInstagram.Fantastic.

ISADORA, 19

WhenI saidI washungry,he

squeezedmystomachandsaidhow

greedyI wasina weirdbabyvoice.

STACY,* 20

I thoughthewasjoking

abouthisfootfetish...until

heshowedmehisPornhub

searchhistory.Hethentold

meto“startlookingafter

myfeetbetter”.

EMMA, 20

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On our second

date, while we were

waiting for our

mains, he blurted

out, “I want you to

give us a chance.

Be all in and move

in with me.”

JANINE, 39

When I came back

from the toilet – in a

very fancy restaurant

• my date was playing
  R’n’B loudly from his
  phone. Apparently,
  he “wanted to listen
  to something decent”.
  CHARLIE,* 22

He asked me to watch his

laptop while he went to the

bathroom. I did, but turned

away for a split-second and...

yep, it got stolen. I awkwardly

stayed with him while he

called the police.

MEGAN, 22

For our first date, I met him

straight from work and he wore

a suit. However, when we

arranged a Sunday cinema trip,

he arrived in a floor-length

tiger-print coat, flat cap and

glasses (without lenses), swinging

a skull-handled cane around.

MEGAN, 25