I went from being fairly naive to a sex
worker in six months, and have now
been working professionally for seven
years. I am separated from my child’s
father, but we have a loving, supportive
relationship and split parenting time
50/50. My daughter has no idea what I
do. I still say that I am a sensory artist,
which is true, just with a different range
of tools. Her dad and I agreed to hold
off explaining my career until she is
past that stage of ‘sex, yuck’ and
confident enough to hold her ownsocially with the social stigma as
it arises in the school playground.
I would love to be totally out – I
only hide my identity and use face
concealing tools on social media
to protect my daughter. I fear the
judgement of other parents because
of the impact on her: if they knew what
I did we couldn’t have sleepovers and
she wouldn’t be allowed to visit their
homes. I still use my sensory artist
cover within that environment, but
don’t enjoy lying, so I minimise the
socialising and keep a low profile. I’m
very open with my mum, sisters and
close friends, who have stayed in my
work apartment and are supportive,
but I don’t tell my extended family.
My daughter has found my toys
on occasion. She has been to my work
apartment and saw a suspension
swing. She was like, ‘What’s that?’ I
said, ‘It’s a swing, darling. Have a go!’
It’s a very fine line I’m treading with
her at the moment. The challenge now
is that my daughter is reading, so I
can’t leave explicit work notes, laptop
or phone messages lying around.
My parenting style is liberal: I
encourage her independence, while
providing nurturing and support. One
day she found a book of 17th century
erotica and was curious. I told her they
were graphic images and explained
that if she is ever exposed to things that
make her feel really icky, that it’s a sign
she is in a situation she isn’t ready for,
and to take herself away. It’s important
to teach girls how to read their body
signals about consent, and navigate
sex and relationships – from asking
for what they want to how to say no.
Every parent has to deal with the sex
issue at some point, and putting your
head in the sand just perpetuates our
unhealthy culture around sex.”“MY DAUGHTER
HAS FOUND
MY TOYS ON
OCCASION. IT’S
A FINE LINE
I’M TREADING
WITH HER AT
THE MOMENT”SEX LIVES
CHARLOTTE, 42
HAS A DAUGHTER, 9
“I used to be an experimental
‘immersive sensory’ artist (I would
blindfold the audience), but when I
had my daughter, I wanted to find
a higher-earning job that would still
leave me plenty of time to spend with
her. I was also having my own post-30
sexual revolution after following up
on a long-held fascination with BDSM.
I was in a relationship with someone
who saw me perform, thought I would
be a natural in the sex industry and
introduced me to the right people.