FEATURE64 MUSCLE & FITNESS/JUNE 2019ASK THE
SEXPERT
W
e’re going to
get a bit deeper
this month.
As frivolous as sex can
sometimes be, it still
remains a very private and
intimate act. So how can
we make sex better?
PROBABLY NOT WHAT YOU THINK!
There are some very intrinsic differences
in the way men and woman think and dare
I say function. Generally, men are more
direct. The best way to get from A to Z is
always a straight line, whereas a woman
may decide to stop off and peruse a few
other letters along the way. If a man tells
another man he’s hungry, this usually
means “I need to eat right now. We need to
get some food, like now!” The same phrase
can be used by a woman and she might
just be expressing the fact she’s hungry, yet
that may not necessarily mean there’s any
immediate urgency to start stuffing her face.
So how does this translate into the
bedroom? Well, for starters, the way we
think affects the way we behave and if
you’re not in tune with the way your partner
thinks, then you’re most certainly not in
tune with the way she’ll want or need you to
perform. Pretty standard reasoning!
Women want and need men to
understand them on a multitude of levels.
Emotionally, intellectually, physically,
spiritually etc. Men, for the most part want
a full stomach and balls emptying ...and
then the TV remote. I can just imagine all
the fellas nodding with an agreeable grin
whilst the gals are shaking their heads in
despair.
But let us not tar everyone with the same
brush. I consider myself to be a bit of a
Sapiosexual on a multitude of levels and
have encountered ladies who just wanted
a thorough servicing before the school run
or before the hubby gets home! “I want you
to treat me like those dumbbells” I believe
was the exact opening line. FYI, I was doing
70kg dumbbell rows with shit form...
just saying.So how does one address these
fundamental differences? Communication
is key and the door swings both ways. We
both need to understand that since we
THINK differently, our perceptions of reality
may not be entirely in sync. So we need
to adapt the way in which we convey very
sensitive information to suit the listener.
Ladies. Firstly you need to understand
how guys generally think. Most of us men
have fragile egos. We just want to be
convinced that you’ve never had it better.
Anything less and we’ll probably think
poorly of you as that’s our emotional band
aid. Telling us how you like it in the heat of
passion when we’re REALLY loving it maysound like a good idea, but it might make
us think you don’t know what you’re talking
about. We might take on board some of
what you said momentarily, but since we’re
already on the roll you’ll find we’ll revert to
resuming the same BS after a few strokes.
So WHEN and HOW you convey this
information is pivotal.
If a woman likes to be touched in a
certain place, in a certain way, then make
this foreplay. Ladies, show him! It’ll drive
him nuts! Explain how much pressure by
guiding his hand/finger/tongue. But not
before you’ve given him a bit of a show
first and telling him where and how. You
can even use a cheesy fake porno voice toINTIMACY