Outlook – July 20, 2019

THE SUBCONTINENTAL MENU

IN & AROUND

THE HOTTEST GRENADE

L

ATHI charges, water cannons

and tear gas are passe. The

latest weapon against protesting

crowds and marauding mobs is the

bhot jolokia grenade. Once deemed

as the hottest chilli on the planet by

the Guiness Book of World Records,

bhot jolokia is the latest addition to

Assam Police’s arsenal. Its seeds are

ground and packed into grenades

that on explosion release a spicy

dust. They even tested it on hum­

ans and found that the ‘non­toxic,

non­lethal’ substance blinded

them for hours and left them with

breathing problems. “The effect

is so pungent that it would literally

choke them,” a DRDO scientist

affirmed. It seems protesters are

not the only on whom the heat will

be turned up. The chilli powder will

also be “a tool for women to keep

away anti­socials” and “a major

repellent against wild elephants”

at army barracks.

CATTLE-CLASS

CREDIT CARD

G

AUSEWA (service of

cows) “washes away all

bad deeds” and is the “easiest

and best way of purifying good

or bad money”, according to

Suresh Foods, an online retailer

of dairy products. If that hasn’t

convinced you to buy a cow,

know that owning one can

have unexpected benefits.

In Haryana, it can help you

score a credit card. Under the

upcoming Pashu Kisan Credit

Card scheme, the government

will extend credit of Rs 70,

for an indigenous cow, Rs

76,400 per Murrah buf falo and

Rs 92,800 for a bra ckish shrimp

farm. We’re curious if the

scheme will make farmers moo

all the way to the bank.

COMPUTER BABA,

PUSHPAKA VIMANA

W

HEN mere mortals were

playing Minesweeper on

Windows 98, Namdeo Das Tyagi had

already been anointed as Computer

Baba because of his alleged passion

for technology and gadgets. Over the

past couple of years, the baba has

repeatedly pressed Alt+Shift+Tab

to jump between different political

parties. His latest stint is with the

Congress—the Madhya Pradesh

government has appointed him as

chairman of the Narmada River

Trust. The first thing he did was ask

for a helicopter. For joyrides over

the Vindhyas? Nope, to keep an eye

on illegal sand mining from the high

heavens. The government refused,

so he made a modest demand for a

drone and a room in the secretariat,

claiming he needs “modern astra­

shastra (weapons)” to save the river.

O

VER seven months have

passed since the Centre was

forced to relieve controversial

1984­batch IPS officer Rakesh

Asthana from the post of special

director in the CBI. He had

a running feud with his then

boss Alok Verma. Asthana was

appointed head of the Bureau

of Civil Aviation Security, and

the CBI, under its new director

R.K. Shukla, had seen a slew of

transfers of officers perceived

to be close to Verma. However,

the government did not appoint

anyone as the agency’s special

director. Rumour has it that

Asthana’s replacement could be

A.K. Singh, a 1985­batch Gujarat

cadre IPS officer who enjoys

the blessings of the country’s

two most powerful politicians.

He is currently the Ahmedabad

commissioner of police.

THE GUJARAT CONNECTION SURFACES

Illustrations by SAAHIL; Test Curated by PUNEET NICHOLAS YADAV and ALKA GUPTA

8 OUTLOOK 22 July 2019