Li f e To day | amazing women
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racy Buchanan, 41, lives with husband rob,
38, and their daughter Scarlett, five.
Just for a moment while watching Scarlett
playing with her cousins, I wondered what it would be
like for her to have a sibling. But at home later that day,
as she brushed her doll’s hair, I was reassured that the
calm atmosphere proved I’d made the right decision- our family is complete with one child.
I’ve always wanted kids, but there was a time when
I wondered if it would ever happen. Rob and I wanted
to start a family soon after we got married in 2007,
but after 18 months of trying I was diagnosed with
unexplained infertility. Our first two rounds of IVF
in 2010 and 2011 ended in failure. I tried to imagine
my future without a baby, but it seemed unthinkable.
In 2012 I went for my third round of IVF and when
a pregnancy test turned positive, I started to shake.
Rob and I were so excited. Scarlett was born on 8 June
- As soon as I saw her, I cried, ‘I’m a mom!’ I felt
so lucky. I finally had everything I’d dreamt of.
By the time Scarlett was 18 months old, friends were
getting pregnant with their second baby, but nothing
was further from my thoughts. I worried I was being
selfish, so I asked Rob if he wanted more kids. To my
relief, he said he was happy with the family we had.
There have been moments when I’ve doubted our
decision. When she turned three, Scarlett
asked when she’d have a brother or sister like
her friends. I explained we could spend more
time with her if she was an only child. I’m
not sure how much she understood, but
she smiled and cuddled me.
I try to make sure she’s never lonely
by arranging play dates. I know some
people will insist she’s spoilt as she’s an
only child, and I suppose she does get
more from us – more time, attention and
money. But I’m not worried about it.
We’re doing the best we can for her- isn’t that what every parent does,
whether they have one child or lots?
As Scarlett gets older, I’m certain
we’ve made the right decision.
Rob and I have so much more
time for each other, which
we wouldn’t have with
other kids in tow.
Being a one-
child family is
definitely the
best decision
we ever made.
‘Being a single-child family is the best decision we’ve ever made’
m
andi Morrison, 42, lives with her husband Asa, 46, and
they have seven children: Xene, 20, Lochlan, 18, Neva,
15, Kaide, 12, eowyn, nine, tyrus, seven, and Viggo, four.
As all nine of us walked in a shopping centre one day, a stranger
barked, ‘Haven’t you heard of contraception?’ I suppose it’s unusual
for a couple to have seven children – more often it’s the result of a
blended family. I’ve always loved kids and thankfully Asa was keen
on a big family, too – although we didn’t discuss how big! When we
had Xene in 1998, parenthood was all-consuming, but enjoyable. In
2000 Lochlan was born, and two was definitely more difficult than
one. But while it was exhausting, I just got on with it. I knew friends
and family presumed that with one of each we’d feel our family was
complete, but we didn’t.
Neva was born in 2003, Kaide in 2005 and Eowyn in 2008. Five
children might seem a lot, but the other kids made it easy – they were
ready-made playmates and the older ones helped with the youngest.
I juggled caring for them with working at a playschool, and at times
it was chaos, but I thrive on noise and laughter.
After Tyrus arrived in 2010, the logistics of juggling the kids, work
and school was too much, and I gave up my job to start blogging
about life as a mom of six. It was my way of answering questions
people ask, such as what time I go to bed and get up (midnight and
6:45am) and how many loads of laundry I do a day (three).
Even with six kids, we weren’t done. In 2013, Viggo was born, and
I finally felt we’d hit the magic number. I don’t believe our kids have
missed out financially. They have tons of toys passed on by their
siblings and we make sure they get one-on-one time with us, like
going to a movie or on a walk. But while it’s nice to spend time with
just one, I wouldn’t want it permanently. That’s why I say to anyone
who judges us that we made the right choice. For us, big is better.‘I thrive on the noise of my seven kids’
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