The Daily Telegraph - 24.07.2019

The Daily Telegraph Wednesday 24 July 2019 *** 3

What the new Dude in No 10 can

learn from his cult movie forerunner

T

he Dude. His Dudeness. El

Duderino, if you’re not into

the whole brevity thing”: not

just the nicknames of Jeff Bridges’

laid-back protagonist in the Coen

Brothers’ 1998 cult movie The Big

Lebowski but, since his victory

speech, the latest sobriquet of our

incoming prime minister.

No 10’s new resident anointed

himself as the acronymic “D.U.D.E”

who would “Deliver Brexit, Unite

the UK, Defeat Corbyn and Energise

the country”. So what does Boris “The

Dude” Johnson have in common with

Jeffrey “The Dude” Lebowski? And

what can he learn from his cinematic

forerunner?

Well, they’re both big-boned,

middle-aged, American-born geezers.

They both have trademark unkempt

locks – sorry, Boris, but that campaign

trail haircut is fooling nobody – a

slight slouch and a mischievous eye

for the ladies. What The Dude was to

tenpin bowling, Boris is to cycling.

Let’s just hope he doesn’t start

teaming tribal-print Pendleton

cardigans with pyjama bottoms,

Vuarnet sunglasses and jelly sandals,

as the Dude did. Although that would

sure be a strong look at the next

G7 summit.

The film’s aficionados founded a

tongue-in-cheek religion called

“Dudeism”, also known as “The

Church of the Latter-Day Dude”,

devoted to spreading their hero’s

philosophy. The cult of Boris is equally

devoted. Judging by the margin of

victory, it has at least 92,153 members

within the Conservative party.

The Dude’s favourite band was

Woodstock blues-rockers Creedence

Clearwater Revival. It’s not known if

Boris is a fan but he picked The

Beatles’ Here Comes the Sun and The

Rolling Stones’ Start Me Up while

guesting on Desert Island Discs back in

2005, so Creedence could well appear

in his record collection too.

As for the film’s Kenny Rogers

anthem? Well, one can easily imagine

Boris asking pollsters for his latest

approval rating by stating that he Just

Dropped In (To See What Condition My

Condition Was In).

White Russians, of course, were The

Dude’s beverage of choice: a cocktail

of vodka, Kahlúa and cream, served

over ice in a tumbler and

occasionally called “The Caucasian”

by The Dude.

They’re kind to neither one’s

waistline nor one’s intellectual

faculties, so we wouldn’t recommend

Boris partakes as habitually as The

Dude, but the occasional tipple won’t

do any harm. Besides, Boris was

named after a Soviet émigré his

parents once met – a white Russian, if

you will.

The Big Lebowski’s labyrinthine plot

found its unlikely hero prevailing over

protection racketeers, porn barons,

cantankerous millionaires, corrupt

cops, kidnappers, car thieves and

German nihilists. Now Boris has seen

off all-comers, plotters and back-

stabbers to claim the top job.

As the man himself puts it: “The

Dude abides.”

Jeffrey ‘The Dude’

Lebowski played by

Jeff Bridges in The

Big Lebowski could

hand Boris Johnson

some pointers in

how to triumph

against the odds

MOVIESTORE/REX

Boris Johnson and

Jeremy Hunt wait

backstage before

the result of the

leadership vote was

announced to the

party. Top left, Mr

Johnson gives his

victory speech

F

or the grand unveiling of their

next leader, Tory bigwigs had

booked a room in a London

conference centre. By pure chance,

the room next door had been booked

for a meeting of the International

Psychoanalytical Association.

Hopefully the association’s

members found the right room.

But if they didn’t, they will at least

have come away with a wealth of

fascinating material.

As a matter of fact, there was no

shortage of material on offer in the

street outside, either, where rival

hordes of protesters were shaking

their placards (“BREXIT IS

DEMOCRAZY”) and bellowing their

chants (“REMAINERS, REPENT!”).

Throughout their campaigns, both

leadership candidates vowed

passionately to unite the country. It

may take them some time.

Inside, Tory MPs gathered to hail

their new boss.

Gavin Williamson, a key figure in

Boris Johnson’s campaign, slithered

up and down, eyes darting, tongue

flickering.

Mark Francois, staunchest of all

Brexiteers, waddled up expectantly in

his usual state of blustering apoplexy

for the moment in abeyance. In the

seats near the front huddled several

dozen lesser-known backbenchers,

doubtless now eager for preferment.

It was almost touching. All those

innocent, shining little faces. Like

five-year-olds at a school assembly.

Onstage, Brandon Lewis, the Tory

chairman, introduced the returning

officers, Charles Walker and Dame

Cheryl Gillan.

“If I could make one plea,”

murmured Mr Walker, before they

began. “Can we be kinder to the next

prime minister than we’ve been to the

current prime minister?”

As one, Tory MPs applauded

vigorously, their faces etched with

expressions of the most tremendous

solemnity. Once they’d finished, Dame

Cheryl read out the result they’d been

expecting, and the next prime minister

of the United Kingdom shambled

amiably on to the stage.

Mr Johnson’s victory speech lasted

all of six minutes and consisted largely

of jokes.

He thanked his rival, Jeremy Hunt

(“a font of excellent ideas – all of which

I propose to steal forthwith”). He

thanked party members (“Although

there may be people who will question

the wisdom of your decision ... Maybe

even some people here...”). And, as

always, he argued that there was no

problem so complex that it couldn’t be

fixed with a dash of pep and a dollop of

can-do spirit.

“Some wag has already pointed out

that ‘Deliver, Unite, Defeat’ was not

the perfect acronym for an election

campaign,” he parped.

“But they forgot the final E, my

friends, for ‘Energise’! And I say to all

the doubters: ‘DUDE! We are going to

ENERGISE the country!’”

He sounded more than relaxed. He

sounded casual, even blithe.

For weeks his critics have been

predicting that, when the cold reality

of leadership finally hits him, Mr

Johnson will shrink and crumble.

Given that he spent almost the

whole of his victory speech with his

left hand resting in his trouser pocket,

like a schoolboy yawning in the queue

for the tuck shop, we can only assume

that it hasn’t hit him quite yet.

Speech full of jokes and a

dollop of can-do spirit

Sketch

By Michael Deacon

h

David Gauke, the Justice Secretary,

Rory Stewart, the International Devel-

opment Secretary, and Anne Milton,

the minister for skills, all announced

their resignations within moments of

Mr Johnson being appointed, in an at-

tempt to take the gloss off his victory.

Mr Hunt, Mr Johnson’s beaten rival

who described him as a “coward” dur-

ing the leadership campaign, is ex-

pected to be demoted from his role as

Foreign Secretary. Mr Johnson said

that after Brexit: “In a new spirit of can-

do ... we are once again going to believe

in ourselves and what we can achieve.

“And like some slumbering giant, we

are going to rise and ping off the guy

ropes of self-doubt and negativity, with

better education, better infrastructure,

more police, fantastic full-fibre broad-

band sprouting in every household –

we are going to unite this amazing

country and we are going to take it

forward.”

Michael Hogangan

ON THERESA MAY

‘It was a privilege to serve in her

Cabinet and to see the passion and

determination that she brought to

the many causes that are her legacy’

ON THE BATTLE AHEAD

‘I don’t think you look remotely

daunted to me’

ON OPTIMISM

‘Like some slumbering giant, we are

going to rise and ping off the guy

ropes of self-doubt and negativity’

HIS PROMISE

‘I will work flat out from now on

with my team that I will build, I hope

in the next few days, to repay your

confidence’

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