Spotlight 9/2019 THE LIGHTER SIDEAdvice from the master
A kung fu student asks his teacher, “Master,
why does my ability not improve? I’m al-
ways losing fights.”
The master, thoughtful and forever patient,
answers, “My dear pupil, have you seen the
birds flying across the setting sun, when
their wings seem to burn like fire?”
“Yes, my master, I have.”
“And a waterfall flowing powerfully over
the stones without taking anything out of
its proper place?”
“Yes, my master, I have seen it.”
“And the moon, when it touches the calm
waters and is reflected in all its enormous
beauty?”
“Yes, my master, I also know this incredible
phenomenon.”
“You see, that’s the problem. You keep
watching all this stuff instead of training.”THE LIGHTER SIDE
The Argyle SweaterPeanuts by Charles M. Schulzby Scott HilburnJust
like you
My friend
said she
didn’t know
how cloning
works. I told
her, “That
makes two
of us.”Compiled by Owen ConnorsSpray away
I’ve finally decided to retire
after a long career as a graffiti
artist. To be honest, the writ-
ing’s been on the wall for some
time now.“I don’t watch television.
I think it destroys the art
of talking about oneself.”
Stephen Fry (born 1957), English comedian, actor and writerNot so smart
In space, two aliens are talking
to each other. The first alien
says, “On the planet Earth,
the dominant life forms have
built satellite-based nuclear
weapons.”
The second alien asks, “Are
the people developing real
intelligence?”
The first alien replies, “I don’t
think so. They have the weap-
ons aimed at themselves.”Sales technique
I was at a job interview today,
when the manager handed me
his laptop and said, “I want you
to try to sell this to me.” So I put
it under my arm, walked out of
the building and went home.
Finally, he called me and said,
“Bring my laptop back here right
now!” I replied, “For $2,000, it’s
yours.”Cartoons: © 2019 Scott Hilburn/Distributed by Universal Uclick/Bulls Press; © 2019 PEANUTS Worldwide LLC, Dist. by Universal Uclick/Bulls Press; Illustration: wektorygrafika/istock.com72
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