Woman UK – 22 July 2019

PHOTOS (POSED BY MODELS): GETTY

Expert solutions foryoursexandrelationshipdilemmas

Ask SUSAN

3

There’ssomuchpressuretobean

amazingsexualpartner.Buttobe

reallymind-blowingin bed,forget

aboutperformanceandconcentrate

onthese simple guidelines...

Beattentive

Keeplooking,listening,andsensing

whatyourpartnerdoesanddoesn’t

like.Whenyou’re clearly pleasing

them,note

exactlywhat

you’redoing

sothatnext

timeyou’re

intimate,

youcan

simply repeat.

Bekind

If somethingtheydodoesn’tfeel

good,begentleasyousay‘no’orpull

back,thenguidethem to what would

workinstead.

Praisefor

whatyoudo

likeworks

betterthan

complaint

aboutwhat

you don’t.

Beresponsive

Whenyourpartner’sdelivering

a wonderfulexperience,letthem

knowhowmuchyou’re enjoying it

throughyour

movements

andsounds.

Andalways

remember

tosaya big

‘thankyou’

afterwards!

RULES FORBEING

GOOD IN BED

LOVE-MAKING

SENDS USTOSLEEP

Q

BothmypartnerandI tendto

fallasleepdirectlyaftersex

• whichisgreatforgettingrest,
  butnotsogoodif wewanttokeep
  going. How can we stay awake?

OUR SEXLIFE DESPERATELYNEEDSA BOOST

Q

MypartnerandI loveeachotherdearly,butlatelywe’vehadlessandlesssex.And

everytimewetrytotalkaboutit,weenduprowingandthrowing insults at each

other. How can we get back on track – in bed and out of it?

Q

Aworkmategotdrunkinthepub

recentlyandtoldmeshe’sneverhad

anyinterestinsex.Sheseemshappy

butI’mworried.Sexissowonderfulthat

surelysomethingmust’vehappenedtoput

heroffit.ShouldI tryto change her mind?

Susansays

A

NeitheryounorI knowwhatyour

colleague’sfullstoryis.But,

believe it or not, there are plenty

ofpeopleintheworldwhohavevery

littleinterestinsex,andare totally

comfortablewiththat.

Assomeonewhoclearlylikessex,

thatmayseemstrangetoyou,and

difficulttogetyourheadaround.But

if yourworkmatesaysshe’shappy

withthat,thenshe’shappy,sotrynot

topersuadeherotherwise– justas

youwouldn’twant her to try to

persuade you.

My infidelitydreams

aredisturbing!

Q

Ikeephavinga reallyvividnightmare

thatI’vecheatedonmyfiancéby

sleepingwithsomeoneelseandthen

gotveryupsetaboutit.ButI’venever

cheated– onmycurrentpartneroranyone

inthepast– andamreallylookingforward

togettingmarriedto him later in the year.

What’sgoingon?

Susansays

A

Dreamsaren’ttypicallya direct

reflectionofwhatyouconsciously

wantinreallife.Buttheycanbea

windowintowhatyourunconscious

mindwantstoprotectyouagainst.

Nightmaresaboutinfidelityintherun

uptoyourweddingarejustaslikely

tomeanthatyoudon’tintendtobe

unfaithful,andareonfullalerttoany

dangers.I’msurethatoneverylevel

youareloyal.Sorelax,ignorethese

dreamsandfocusonenjoying the

build-up to your big day.

Susansays

A

Fallingasleepaftersex is

largelydowntothe

relaxationhormonesreleased

whenyouorgasm– andthatisn’t

somethingyoucanprevent.

Instead,youcouldtrytodelay

yourorgasmbyslowingdownor

takingbreakstomakethingslast.

Or,if youwanttocarryon

post-climax,beactive:getupfor

a fewminutes;talk;putonsome

music;makea coffee.Tellyour

body it’s time to have more fun!

Susansays

A

You’resufferingfrom‘shame

andblame’.Eachofyoufeels

shamedabouttheno-sex

situationsoyou’reblamingeach

othertocompensate.Asbothofyou

areguiltyofit,it’llinevitablyleadto

intense arguments. To get back on

track,youneedanobjective

professionalwhocanhelpyou

understandthatshameandblame

don’twork.They’llinsteadteachyou

howtosolvethelackofsexand

relatetoeachothermorepositively.

AskyourGPaboutlocalsexand

relationship counselling services.

How can she live so happily without sex?