Woman’s Weekly UK – 23 July 2019

KEREN’S HELPLINES

WORRYING:MANAGEYOURFEARS 09044700716

CONCERNEDABOUTMEMORYLOSS? 09044700717

WHENYOURCHILDRENLEAVEHOME 09044700831

HOWTOCOPEWITHAGEINGPARENTS 09044700719

COMINGTOTERMSWITHLOSSANDGRIEF 09044700804

HOWTOBANISHYOUREMPTYFEELINGS 09044700802

Here TO HELP

womansweekly.com 35

Let counsellorKerenlightenyourload

Ourrelationshipexpert

KerenSmedleyhasmore

than^20 years’experience

Users must be over 18. You must have the bill payer’s permission. Calls cost 65p per minute plus your network’s access charge. Each line lasts approx. seven minutes. Service provider: Spoke Ltd, 0333 202 3390

EmailWomansWeeklyPostbag@ti-media.

comWritetoHereToHelp,Woman’sWeekly,

161 MarshWall,LondonE149APVisit

Keren’s site at experiencematters.org.uk.

Stressedaboutmoney

Q

Ihadtogotothehousing

officeat the councilto talk

aboutproblemswith my rent.

Ican only go in my lunchhour,as I’ve

no moreleaveleft this year.I’ve been

threetimesin thepastfortnight, waited

foran hourand not seen anyone.I’ve

explainedbut they just say I haveto

wait beforethey can fit me in. I’m

now goingto be in arrears!No wonder

peopledecidenot to work,as it doesn’t

seemto be valuedby the council.

Nameandaddresswithheld

A

Ithinkyou’veputtwodifferent

thingstogetherandcomeupwith

five! The fact that the councilhas

rulesabouttheir queuingsystemdoesn’t

meanwe shouldn’twork.Whatit does

meanis that they’reinflexibleand not

able to respondto individualcustomers’

requirements.Butthe samewouldapply

if a parenthadto collecttheir childfrom

school;it’s not to do with you working.

I suggestthatyou followthe council’s

complaintsprocedureand formally

presentyour case.If nothingchanges,

itmay be worthcontactingthe mayor’s

officeand your localMP. You have

highlightedanerrorin theircustomer

service system anditshould be rectified.

M

ypartnerrecentlyaskedme to

marryhim and movein with

him. I knewhe had a daughter

and had met her a few timesbut didn’t

knowher well.However,shespends

everyotherweekwith him–or I should

say us. I reallydon’tlike her and the feelingis mutual.She’svery spoilt

and she’salwaysdoingthingsto showme up in a bad light.Her father

alwaystakesher side.I’m not sure how long I can stay living here.

Name and address withheld

I

’dlike to inviteyou

to stepoutof the

situationand look at

it as an observer.You

andyourstepdaughter

bothwantattention

fromyour partner.She’s

feelingpushedout by

anotherwomanwho

hascomein to takeher

place.You’refeelingleft

out as you wantto be

his numberone and

youaren’twhenshe

is there.Yourpartneris

caughtin the middle.

Let’s look at the facts:

hehasa daughterand

she will, rightly,bepart

of your lives.You could

embracethis and find a

way to relateto her,not

ashermotherbut as an

adultwomanwho has

wisdomto share.Or

you can behavelike a

teenagerandcreatea

fuss. The realityis, she’ll

eventuallygrowupand

leavehome,andyou

and your partnerwill

be able to live alone.

If you complain

toher father,he will

instinctivelybecome

defensive.Instead,ask

himforadviceonhow

youcanimprovethe

relationship.Tell him

youunderstandit must

be hard for her to have

to acceptanother

womanand you’dlike

tofind a way forward

together.He’ll see you

wantto sortthingsout

and I expectyou’llfind

he’s therebesideyou.

✿Kerenwelcomesyourletters,emailsandtexts,butshecannotreply to individual

cases and will select correspondence at random for publication.

FIANCE S DAUGHTER

PHOTO (POSED BY MODELS):

GETTY

I DON’T GET ON WITH MY

Ismydaughter being

ungrateful?

Q

My teenagedaughterhas a

wardrobefull of clothesand

yet she oftensays ‘I have

nothingto wear’.It’s untrue– shehas

moreclothesthan me!I don’tknow

how to managethe situation well.

Judy, Stratford

A

Fromher viewpoint,there’s

nothingherethatsuitsherforthis

occasion– perhapsbecauseshe’s

put on weightor feels anxiousaboutthe

event.Tacklingwhat’sbehindthe words

is what’simportant.Also offer adviceand

pick out an outfit– oftenthat’senoughof

a triggerto getteenagersto say‘no’and

find an alternative that suits them!When

thingshavecalmeddown,go through

her wardrobetogetheranddiscardthe

thingsthat no longerwork.If needed,

replace them with more suitable items.