you kill you.” My mother had to talk him down
from it. She didn’t do it by being hysterical and
crying; she had to appeal to this addict holding a
gun to his daughter’s head. And then there were
times he’d take off for a year, and we wouldn’t see
or hear from him.
My parents divorced on my 10th birthday.
Through everything my mom was a warrior.
She spent over 40 years suffering and single-
handedly tried to make everything the best
that she could. Now, thank goodness, she’s able
to live a much better lifestyle. She’s remarried
and managing a medical building with my step-
dad in Texas.
Dad died about four years ago now—a
couple of weeks after my twins were born. The
last time I spoke to him was right around the
time I started on The L Word. He wanted a
bunch of money from me, and I wasn’t willing
to give it to him. Instead I offered to help him
find a job or fix his car or get a suit for inter-
views. He threatened to kill me, so I cut off
contact with him.
Looking back, I don’t have a negative outlook.
I took where I came from and was able to let it
fuel me into a much bigger place. I’m able to
channel the darkness I got from him into my
acting, but when I go home, that’s gone. I mar-
ried an incredibly loving husband and father
who wants to be there for his children. My kids
are very close to my mother. Her love is fero-
cious—and she is truly my hero. •Help YourLocal Women’s ShelterShelters have come a long way since Sarah Shahi’s experience in
the 1980s, according to Eddie Pelto, who leads donor relations
for Safe Horizon, the nation’s leading domestic violence survivor
assistance organization. “It took a while to catch up in terms of
providing the kinds of services that were needed,” Pelto says. Now
most shelters offer supportive counseling as well as assistance with
finding permanent housing, employment, legal advice and childcare.
And because a majority of the residents in shelters are children
with their mothers, “we work really hard to make sure that
it is a welcoming, supportive place for children,” Pelto says. While
some local shelters accept donations of goods, Pelto says
the best way to help is through financial contributions.
If you are experiencing domestic violence or are concerned
about someone else, call the National Domestic Violence
Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or go to thehotline.org.
All calls are toll-free and confidential.64 July 29, 2019 PEOPLE
Happy Family
Shahi (with husband Steve Howey and kids, from left,
Knox, William and Violet in June 2018) admits to having
working-mom guilt: “But how lucky am I to get to do what
I dreamed of doing to put food on the table?”Strong Women
Shahi says her
mother, Mahmonir,
69 (above, in
2016), looks back
at the 1980s and
remembers “being
the lion that had
to fight for dinner,
more than she
remembers crying.”
Right: Shahi brought
her sister Samantha,
who was born when
Shahi was 8, to an
event in 2018.