Go Drive & Camp May 2019

(Jacob Rumans) #1

http://www.weg.c o.za go! Drive&CampMay2019|^137


At exactlythe same timemy wife
switches on the light on the other side of
the bakkie. She’salso on her knees and
shines the light straight intomy eyes. In
thatmomentI’m blinded,Ibang my head
and my handagainst thechassi sasIjerk
in fright. It’sagood thing our pastor isn’t
around to hear me.
Fortunately, Idon’tdropthe trekking
pole, because the next moment the
badger starts growling, coughing and
hissing. I’m still struggling to see asmy
wife has notyetgot the message to not
shine the light directlyinto my eyes.
Ismackthe pole on the ground,my wife
movestoanother corner of the bakkie,
the stars disappear frommy sight... and
when Ican finally can seeagain, there
is no sign of the honeybadger under
thebakkie.
And then the light falls on something...
the biscuit tin!Irakeitc loser with the
pole,whilemywife walksaroundthe
bakkie todoublecheckthatthe badger
is gone.There’snosign of him.Ifully
understand becauseIwouldn’thave
withstood thatencirclement tactic with


the accompanyingwarcries andattacks
of light.Perhaps itwasmychoicewords
thatscared him off, butIdoubt he’s that
fluent inFrench.

WITH THE BISCUITthief nowgone, it’s
time to takestock.We’restill here for six
nights; so, there should be another twelve
biscuits ifwe eachwant to enjoytwo
every night.
Iplace the tin on the table to start
counting with trepedation and, typically
South African, alreadyexpect theworst –
the nightmare of none or too littlesweet
stuff for the rest of the holiday. Yes, Iknow

Ican buychocolateat the shop,but it
wouldn’tbethe same as our biscuits. And
Idon’twant to payparkprices.
We count–and ultimatelythere’sonly
one biscuit missing. Can it be?We count
again (it feels as ifwe’r einthe middle of
avoteofnoconfidence in parliament) and
again there is onlyone not there.
Ireleaseasigh of relief and gratitude
and manyother things.Thetin is
closed and putaway,and the coffee is
boosted withatot of brandyafter all
theexcitement.
Thefollowing nightwe eachtake
our twobiscuits. But tonight the tin is
immediatelystoredawayandthe biscuits
arekept safelyonmylap.We’re gazing
at the firewhen we hear another rustle
behind us.Igrabthe light and see the
honeybadger is back. And he looksat me
with questioningeyes, as if hewantsto
ask “So,where’smybiscuit then?”
Iput the light down, turn around and
settle onmy chair. Howcan Iblame him?
Thepoor animal has acquired the taste of
abiscuit andIknowifIwere him, I’dbe
coming backfor more, too.

Then Isee the culprit:
ahoneybadger that
disappears under our
bakkiewith the tin of
biscuits in his mouth.
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