Go Drive & Camp May 2019

In the late 1950s,Iexperienced an
incident withmyschool friendJannie
Barnard thatIremember to this day.
It wasaSaturdayand Jannie’s father,
Uncle Jan,went to trade in his car for
another.Jannie andIwent with him to
Motortown in the long, straightJules
Streetin Johannesburg.UncleJanwas
abig, strict man withathick gray
moustache and hewasgoing to get rid of
hisVanguard,a“rubbish English” car.The
truth of the matterwasthatUncleJanhad
been promoted to superintendent and his
wheels no longer fit his reputation.
His blueVanguardwasnolonger good
enough, but the car also hasaproblem or
two.When yougeared down from third
to second gear,the gearswouldgrind
and the diffwouldhum as soon asyou
lost some speedwhen in third gear.In
addition, therewasatear on the back
seat. But UncleJanhad aplan. He folded
three thickblankets and covered the seat
whereJannieandIhad to sit. It covered
the tear andwouldhopefullyalso dampen

the diff’s noise. UncleJantold uswe

couldn’tget out of the carat the second-

hand car dealership,nor were weallowed

to sayaword.

UncleJandidn’tcomerightat the first

twodealerships, because people didn’t

even want to lookat theVanguard. Butat

Honest Motors,Johnny with ablue tattoo

on his shoulderwasdesperatetoget rid

of ayellowVauxhallVelox. Cigarette in

the mouth,Johnny walkeda

Vanguard, andmuttered as

kickedthe tyres.Wesatbig-

on the backseat. Notapeep

Johnnywanted to drive

theVanguard around the

blockbefore deciding, but

UncleJanmade it clear

nobodywould drive his car

him.Johnny agreed and Unc

Jantook off withJohnny in

passenger seat. And so, with

change,UncleJanmadeak

noise. It sounded as if he’db

it so thatyou couldn’thear

thegears. Even theradiowasontohelp.

Jannie andIwere the silent spectators,

peekingat eachother trying not to laugh.

UncleJan’sblankets and snorting

clinched the deal, andwedrovehomein

theyellowcar with its temporary permit

papers on the windows.

CHRIS HEUNES

Vereeniging

aroundthe

he

• eyed
  p.

but

cle

the

hevery gear

ind of snorting

been practicing

the grinding of

UNCLE JANAND HIS VERYBROKEN CAR