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BY JURA KONCIUS

A love of reading is what usual-

ly brings people together to form

a book club. But, like any kind of

group, each book club develops

its own culture, structure, per-

sonality and rules. This is espe-

cially true of the ones that meet in

members’ living rooms vs. librar-

ies or stores.

“The book clubs that are suc-

cessful are the ones that know

their purpose,” s ays Priya Parker,

an expert on conflict resolution

and author of “The Art of Gather-

ing: How We Meet and Why It

Matters.” And different people

want different things, says Park-

er, who calls herself a “slightly

delinquent” member of a Brook-

lyn women’s book club. “Often

there’s a lack of clarity and a

range of expectations.”

There is no one definition of a

book club or right way to run it.

Purists might think they should

be only for reading and thought-

ful conversation and even shun a

chunk of pepperjack on the coffee

table. Some book groups simply

serve tea. Others relish the chal-

lenge of composing dinner

menus relating to the book, with

creative tablescapes to match.

Like long-term marriages, a

monthly group that has been

getting together for years can fall

into a bit of a rut, or some

members’ priorities may change.

It’s worth checking in every once

in a while and taking cues from

some other inventive groups.

So, I surveyed some biblio-

philes for ideas. I’ll also include

one from my own 23-year-old

club, where six of us discuss a

book over cocktail hour and din-

ner (dessert is left for dishing on

other things): We sometimes pro-

vide party favors, such as when

we read “Circe” by Madeline Mill-

er, and our hostess put Greek

goddess laurel leaf headbands by

each table setting. For the discus-

sion of “There, There,” Tommy

Orange’s debut novel of Native

American stories, the host made a

centerpiece of five cactus plants

— and let members take them

home.

Find the right mix

Doug Erickson, a university

relations specialist at the Univer-

sity of Wisconsin at Madison, has

been in a co-ed seven-person

book group for 12 years. The most

important part of a book club for

him is the members. “You need to

approach the membership of

your book club with the preci-

sion, pragmatism and ruthless-

ness of the NFL draft. You can’t b e

sentimental. Be extremely wary

of the overtalker and the mans-

plainer,” he says. “One blowhard

can ruin the whole thing.” I n his

club, members take turns host-

ing, but no meal is served; it’s

Sunday night drinks, light snacks

and “a chocolate element.”

He says if you’re thinking of

adding to your group, look for

people who have an open mind,

people who love reading so much

that they will enjoy discussing a

lousy book as much as a good one

and people who are self-aware

enough to know when to stop

talking and relinquish the floor to

someone else.

His group also sticks to this

rule: Every April, they read

whichever novel wins the Pulitzer

for fiction.

Keep it casual, but be creative

Connor Massei loves to read,

and so do some of his friends, so

two years ago, they formed a book

club. (The club is on Instagram

@bookboysworldwide.) “None of

us had any idea of what we were

doing, and we didn’t even Google

how we should run this,” says

Massei, who lives in Arlington

and is an account manager at a

security company. The members,

in their late 20 s and early 30 s,

meet in one of the guy’s homes in

Clarendon. “The food isn’t fancy,”

Massei says. “Members show up

with something, whether a bag of

chips or a charcuterie board and

some beer.” He says they like to

get into the spirit of a book. When

they read “The Sun Also Rises,”

they toasted Ernest Hemingway

with rum. “Sometimes we ask

Alexa to play some tunes, like we

asked for some Spanish music for

Hemingway night,” he says. For

“Hillbilly Elegy,” a couple of guys

showed up with two-liter bottles

of Mountain Dew. T hey FaceTime

with members who are on the

road so they can stay engaged. “I

definitely look forward to it,” he

says. “It’s certainly one of the best

days of the month.”

Add some sparkle

Some clubs invite local authors

to make guest appearances or

have an annual quiz to see how

much members recall about the

books they read that year.

Michiel Perry, who runs the

Black Southern Belle blog

(blacksouthernbelle.com), thinks

a creative table setting can add

fun, but it shouldn’t create stress.

She used to be in a book club, but

with a newborn and a toddler,

she’s taking a break. She thinks

the food should be based on how

much time the group has to

commit to prep. That can change

as people’s lives do, but that

doesn’t mean you can’t come up

with a few literary decor touches.

She recalls one book club meeting

at which someone wrote out

meaningful quotes from the book

and arranged them around the

table.

She has some ideas for when

she has time to join a club again.

She might want one with a focus

on Southern cuisine and a play-

list that includes Beyoncé and

Tina Turner. On her blog, she

recently posted a photo of a table

set for an imaginary African

American recipe book club din-

ner. At each place was a cookbook

featuring a Southern black fe-

male chef.

Although she loves entertain-

ing, Kaitlin Moss of the Ev-

ery Hostess blog (the every

hostess.com) thinks book clubs

should “feel cozy and relaxed.”

She says the vibe should reflect

the feelings of the members. “It’s

an engaging way to get people

together, but there shouldn’t be

any pressure,” s he says. “Lighting

candles and dimming the lights a

bit makes people feel more com-

fortable.”

Change with the times

In 1997, Janet Douglas of Ta ko-

ma Park, now retired from the

Smithsonian, was part of a

monthly potluck mother-

daughter book club. The girls

were about 7 years old, and the

moms were baby boomers. Back

then, she says, there weren’t real-

ly any hard-and-fast rules. “We

had many iterations,” Douglas

says. They would talk about the

book and do an activity or craft

related to it. Later, girls acted out

scenes they filmed using video

cameras. When the girls were in

high school, moms and daughters

a lternated choosing the reads.

The club is still going, minus the

daughters, who went on to col-

lege and their own book groups.

To day, Douglas says she has

some new suggestions in mind

for her club — perhaps predeter-

mined discussion questions or

new methods of choosing books

that spark a good exchange of

ideas. “I’m thinking having some

rules is good,” Douglas says.

Take a moment

“The danger of a book club is

that people assume they know

what it is,” Parker says. The reality

is that sometimes you need to

change it up based on the mem-

bers and their lives. “I think a lot

of people get a lot out of their

book club, but many are also

frustrated by them,” s he says.

Davina Morgan-Witts says

adaptability is key for a long-

lasting book club. She’s the

founder of Book Browse

(bookbrowse.com), a website

that recommends books and is a

source for all things book clubs.

The site suggests an annual

check-in with members, an open

discussion to see whether every-

one is still on the same page

about the length of the discus-

sions, book choices, new mem-

bers and refreshments. (Actual-

ly, stress from upping the food

game and from judgy foodies in

some clubs is one of the reasons

people leave, Morgan-Witts

says.)

On her site’s Book Club Health

Check, you’ll find sample ques-

tions. “It’s really good to figure

out what is working and what is

not,” Morgan-Witts says. “Defin-

ing the rules of your group is

important. Some people may be

getting fed up of hearing only

Brenda’s views every month.”

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Does your book club need a refresh? Here’s how to make it better.

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“You need to approach the membership of your book club with the precision,

pragmatism and ruthlessness of the NFL draft. You can’t be sentimental.”

Doug Erickson, a university relations specialist at the University of Wisconsin at Madison and a book club member