BBC Focus - 03.2020

INTERVIEW FE ATURE

ABOVECamillaPang(right)talkstoAmy Barrett fromBBC
Science Focusabout neurodiversity

variancewillhavetheirownexperience.

Butbeingadaptableto yourownneedsis key,

andI thinkthatcanbesaidforeveryone, not just

those who are neurodiverse.

WHYISAUTISMCLOSELYLINKEDWITHADHD?

Theyarea marriagemadeinheaven,butthey

liveinhell.Theyarecounterparts.Tobehonest,

ADHD’sa kindof chaotic,unpredictable,

sporadic,wildfirethatspinsoutwards,andit’s

everythingthatmakesyoufeelalive. It’s messy,

andit’snotroutine.It’sfluid.

Autisticspectrumdisorderis morerigid.More

focused.It’slikeroutine.It’svery introspective.

Frommyexperience,thatis.

Theysaveeachothera lotof thetimebecause

they’rea yinandyang.Mostof thetimeI feel

likeI’ma thirdwheeler.I reallydo.I’m

mediatingbothof thesepsychologies

simultaneously,andI’m like, “I just want to

makea cupof tea.”

Butthegoodthingis thattheydocomplement

eachother.I gointohyper-focusedmode,and

I’vealsogotmyAsperger’sto pushthatthrough

further,soI getstuffdonefast.ADHDcanmake

youfeellost,andsocanautism,buttogether,

somehow,youfind your way through. It’s almost

likemagic.

I thinkit’sveryimportantto highlightthe

intersectionof anxiety.Onecansavetheother,

butalso,theycanacttogetherto createa really

powerfulanxiety.Thatcanbehardto dealwith.

Youdon’tknowwhatyou’regoingto beanxious

aboutthatday,butyouknowthatyourmindis

spinninginbothdirections.Youjusthaveto

learn to train it. It’s energy, at the end of the day.

HOWDOYOUFEELABOUTTHEWAY AUTISM IS

PORTRAYEDINTHEMEDIA?

It’snotquiteaccuratelyrepresentedinterms of

how varied autism can be. It’s very male-

orientated.It’sa verywhiteculture,andthere

arelotsof headsbangingonwalls.AndI think

that’sdueto thefactthatwedon’tknowwhat

[autism]lookslikeinanyother form because

it’sveryhardto diagnose.

It’ssymptomatic,andit’svery,veryvaried.

Peoplewhohaveit,particularlyfemales,are

knownto masktheirsymptoms,sotryingto

getit outof themis reallyhard.Luckyforme,

I wasdiagnosedat theageof eightornine.

Butforexample,whensomeonesaysto me,

“Oh,Millie,youdon’tlookautistic!”I know

thattheymeanwell,soI don’tmakea fuss.

I giveanindifferentanswer that I’ve

rehearsed,obviously.

Butit’sdegradingto sayI don’tlookautistic

becauseit’snotsomethingthatI have;it’s

somethingthatI am.Thisis myhumanshape.

I amautistic,andI havea differentshape.

I experiencelifedifferently,to thepoint

whereit canhinder, but it can also enhance

myexperience.

I’mreallyhopingthatthisbookshedsa light

onhowvaried[autism]canbe,butalsoanchor

it downto a commonpsychologicalroutethat

explainswhyyouarefeelinga) thatlittlebit

weirdorb) outof placeor c) to explain the

human that you are.

WHYDIDYOUCHOOSE TO WRITEEXPLAINING

HUMANSNOW?

ExplainingHumansis myattempttowrite

a manualfromthepiecesofinformationI’d

assembledsinceI wasa child,butI didn’t

knowI waswritingit.It startedwiththe

notesI hadcollected,andlikebobbleson

a jumper,you’rea littlebitembarrassedby

them,buttheyareinevitableandI couldn’t

notwriteit.I hadtowritetosurvive,and

assemblingthesenotesenabledmeto

decodeandconnectwithhumans.

It’salsoanattempttomakesciencevisible

forpeople,asit actuallymadepeoplevisible

tome.I canbemyselfwithscience,andit’s

somethingthatI wanttosharewithothers

becauseit’showI understandthem.

Thinkingaboutit,I usedtohavevisionsof

myself,wantingtogiveit tomymotherwhen

I waslittle.SoI couldonedaybelike,

“Heremum,thisis what’shappened.

Thisis whyI couldn’t communicate, and

now I can.”

DISCOVERMORE

d

ONTHEPODCAST

Subscribetothe

ScienceFocusPodcast

tolistentoourfull

conversationwith

DrCamillaPanginan

upcomingepisode.

sciencefocus.com/

science-focus-podcast

M

READ

Explaining

Humansis out 20 March

2020 (£14.99, Viking)