BBC Focus - 03.2020

PORTRAIT: KATE COPELAND ILLUSTRATION: SCOT T BALMER

Beforemeetingsomeonenew,doyoulook

themuponlinetofindoutmoreaboutthem?

That’s not a great way to start conversations...

“Theamateur

surveillancethatwe

alldo(meincluded)

hidesa fearof

vulnerability”

aveyoueverlookedupyour

friendsonline?Scrolledthrough

theirupdates,bingedontheir

Insta,readanancientblogpost,

or evengonedowntherabbitholeand

foundtheirfirstprofilepic?How’d

it makeyoufeel?Closer,orcreepy?

Dirt-digger,orvoyeur?Orareyoua

personwhorefusestogothereon

principle,preferringto allowfriends

oldandnewtorevealtheirhobbies,

likes,dislikesandopinions to you

attheirownpace?

I’mpartofthelattercamp.I get

reallycreepedoutwhenI discover

thatsomeone’slookedmeuponline,

soI trynottodoit toanyoneelse.

AnarticlebyJustineGangneuxin

theSeptember 2019 issueofthe

journalInformation,Communication

& SocietysaysI amunusual.She

revealshownormalit’sbecomefor

peopleintheir20sandyounger

toscreenpotentialnewfriendsby

trawlingthrougha person’ssocial

mediaprofiles,andcross-checking

withotheraccountsjustto makesure

they’vegotthecorrectinformation.

I don’twanta dossierona random

personmymatethinksI should

meet.If mymatethinksI should

meetsomeone,I trustthem.And

I trustthatthepersonI’mgoingto

meetwilltalkaboutstufftheyfind

interesting,ratherthanwaitformeto

promptthemwithtargetedquestions.

ButI amold,andweirdinmy

social media profile fact-checking

aversion.I get whyit mightbe

somethingyou’ddo.I hada friend

who,yearsago,wasnewlysingleand

wasexploringonlinedating.Shemet

someoneshehitit offwith,andwas

consideringmeetingupwithhim.

Butshethendiscoveredthrougha

bitof archaeologicaldiggingthathe’d

beenaccusedbyhisex-partner,and

severalotherunrelatedwomen,of

sexualassault.That’sa goodexample

of whyyouwould want to check up

onsomeone.

ButwhatGangneauxwritesabout

goesbeyondsafetymanagement.She

explainsthatpre-checksofmutual

acquaintancesallowstheperson

snoopingto makeguesstimatesabout

whethermeetingthispersonwould

be a waste of time and emotions

ornot.Becausemeetingthewrong

personfora 30-minutecoffeecan

besucha bummerinyourbusylife.

Herparticipantsfearedlullsin

conversationsthatwouldhaveto be

filledwithclarificationquestions.

Theywantedtoavoidhavingto

engagewithsomeonetheydidn’t

agree with.Theypokedaround

profilesto checkpoliticalaffiliations,

matchmusicandgathertalking

points.Stuffyoucanfindoutin 15

secondsface-to-face,butcanmake

theremaining 29 minutesand 45

secondsfeellikeaneternity.

Theamateursurveillancethatwe

alldo(yes,meincluded)hidesa fear

ofvulnerability,andanaversion

todifferentopinions.Thisishow

theinternet’sfilterbubbletransfers

offline.It’salsohowwefindourselves

soemotionallybruisedwhenwe

discoverthattherestoftheworld

doesn’tthinklikewedo.

Sonexttimeyou’retemptedto

doa littledigging,resist.Allowthe

otherpersontobeinchargeofthe

directionthatconversationtravels.

Youmightdiscoveryou’reopen to

learning something new.

A L E K S

KROTOSKI

Aleksis a social

psychologist,

broadcaster

andjournalist.

Shepresents

TheDigital

Human.

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