had communicated with one of the
strangers again.
Scientists believe there may be an
ancient reason why humans are able
to enjoy interacting with strangers. To
survive as a species, we need to mate
outside our own gene pool, so we may
have evolved to have both the social
skills and the motivation to mingle
with people who are not in our tribe.
You don’t even have to talk to com-
plete strangers to reap the benefits.
Multiple studies show that people
who interact regularly with passing
acquaintances or who engage with
others through community groups,
religious gatherings, or volunteer op-
portunities have better emotional and
physical health and live longer than
those who do not.
While reporting this story, I heard
from people who spoke of meaningful
connections with strangers that led
to all kinds of benefits. One person
took up the cello after chatting with a
woman on the subway who was carry-
ing one. Another recalled how the
smile of a fruit vendor from whom he
regularly bought bananas made him
feel less lonely after he’d first arrived
in a new city. A young woman having
trouble conceiving was buoyed by a
woman on a plane who talked about
the joys of being an older mother.
When Sue Pernick took my hand
on that scary flight to Boston, I al-
most wept with relief. She was so
calm, validating, and reassuring—
“Yep, this is a little bumpy, but we’lldiately, I could see what an awesome
coach she must have been.
Sue and I talked—about our fami-
lies, our vacations, our love of the
ocean—until the plane finally landed.
Then the businessman sitting on the
other side of her, who’d been silent
the entire flight, remarked that he’d
enjoyed our conversation. “It dis-
tracted me,” he said. “I was scared too.
I wanted to hold Sue’s hand!”
When we said goodbye, I gave Sue
a big hug and my card. A few days
later, I received an e-mail with the
subject line “Broken hand on Jet
Blue.”
“I have to admit that I was just as
scared as you were but did not say it,”
Sue wrote. “I just squeezed your hand
as hard as I could. Thank you for help-
ing me through this very scary situa-
tion.” She added that when she’d told
her friends about our conversation,
they teased her because they know
she loves to talk.
I told my friends about Sue too. I
explained how kind she was to me,
and what I learned: It’s OK to ask for
help from a stranger if you need it.
Now if I mention to my friends that I
am stressed or worried, they respond,
“Just think of Sue!” RD
wall street journal (may 11, 2019), copyright
© 2019 by dow jones & company, inc.22 april 2020
Reader’s Digest
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