15-05-2021-052358It-Ends-with-Us

I’d have just left, would that not be going against our marriage vows?
For better or for worse. I refuse to give up on my marriage that easily.
I am a strong woman. I’ve been around abusive situations my whole
life. I will never become my mother. I believe that a hundred percent.
And Ryle will never become my father. I think we needed what
happened on the stairwell to happen so that I would know his past
and we’d be able to work on it together.
Last week we got into another fight.
I was scared. The other two fights we’d gotten into did not end
well, and I knew this would be a testament to whether or not our
agreement for me to help him through his anger would work.
We were discussing his career. He’s finished with his residency now
and there’s a three-month specialized course in Cambridge, England,
he applied for. He’ll find out soon if he was approved, but that’s not
why I was upset. It’s a great opportunity and I’d never ask him not to
go. Three months is nothing with how busy we are, so that wasn’t even
what got me so upset. I became upset when he discussed what he
wanted to do after the Cambridge trip was over.
He was offered a job in Minnesota at the Mayo Clinic and he wants
us to move there. He said Mass General is rated the second best
neurological hospital in the world. Mayo Clinic is number one.
He said he never intended to stay in Boston forever. I told him that
would have been a good subject to bring up when we discussed our
futures on the flight to get married in Vegas. I can’t leave Boston. My
mother lives here. Allysa lives here. He told me it was only a five-hour
flight and that we could visit as often as we wanted. I told him it was
pretty hard to run a floral business when you live several states away.
The fight continued to escalate and both of us were getting angrier
by the second. At one point, he knocked a vase full of flowers off the
table and onto the floor. We both just stared at them for a moment. I
was scared, wondering if I had made the right decision to stay. To
trust that we could work on his anger issues together. He took a deep
breath and he said, “I’m going to leave for an hour or two. I think I
need to walk away. When I get back, we’ll continue this discussion.”
He walked out the door and, true to his word, he came back an
hour later when he was much calmer. He dropped his keys on the
table and then walked straight to where I was standing. He took my