15-05-2021-052358It-Ends-with-Us

door. Atlas calmly takes the keys from me and I step aside as he opens
the door for me.
“Do you want me to make sure no one’s here?” he asks.
I nod. I know Ryle isn’t here because he’s on his way to England,
but I’m honestly still a little scared to walk into the apartment by
myself.
Atlas walks in before me and flips on the lights. He continues
walking through the apartment, flipping on all the lights and walking
into each of the rooms. When he makes it back to the living room, he
slides his hands in his jacket pockets. He takes a deep breath and then
says, “I don’t know what happens next, Lily.”
He does. He knows. He just doesn’t want it to happen, because we
both know how much it hurts to say goodbye to each other.
I look away from him because seeing the look on his face right now
cuts straight to my heart. I fold my arms over my chest and stare at the
floor. “I have a lot to work through, Atlas. A lot. And I’m scared I
won’t be able to do it with you in my life.” I lift my eyes back to his. “I
hope you don’t take offense to that, because if anything, it’s a
compliment.”
He regards me silently for a moment, not at all surprised by what
I’m saying. But I can see there’s so much he wants to say. There’s a lot
I wish I could say to him, too, but we both know discussing the two of
us isn’t appropriate at this point. I’m married. I’m pregnant with
another man’s baby. And he’s standing in the living room of an
apartment that another man bought for me. I’d say these aren’t very
good conditions in which to bring up all the things we should have
said to each other a long time ago.
He looks at the door momentarily as if he’s trying to decide to
leave or speak. I can see the twitch in his jaw right before he locks
eyes with me. “If you ever need me, I want you to call me,” he says.
“But only if it’s an emergency. I’m not capable of being casual with
you, Lily.”
I’m taken aback by his words, but only momentarily. As much as I
wasn’t expecting him to admit it, he’s absolutely right. Since the day
we met, there has been nothing casual about our relationship. It’s
either all in or not in at all. That’s why he separated ties when he left