“Come on,” I told him. He followed me inside and I locked the dead bolt. “If
my parents come home early, run out the back door and don’t let them see you.”
He nodded. “Don’t worry. I will,” he said, with kind of a laugh.
I asked him if he wanted anything to drink and he said sure. I made us a
snack and brought our drinks to the living room. I sat down on the couch and
he sat down in my dad’s chair. I turned on your show and that’s about all that
happened. We didn’t talk much, because I fast-forwarded through all the
commercials. But I did notice he laughed at all the right times. I think good
comedic timing is one of the most important things about a person’s
personality. Every time he laughed at your jokes, it made me feel better about
sneaking him into my house. I don’t know why. Maybe because if he’s actually
someone I could be friends with, it’d make me feel less guilty.
He left right after your show was over. I wanted to ask him if he needed to
use our shower again, but that would have cut it real close to time for my
parents getting home. The last thing I wanted was for him to have to run out
of the shower and across my backyard naked.
Then again, that’d be kind of hilarious and awesome.
—Lily
Dear Ellen,
Come on, woman. Reruns? A full week of reruns? I get that you need time
off, but let me make a suggestion. Instead of recording one show a day, you
should record two. That way you’ll get twice as much done in half the time,
and we’d never have to sit through reruns.
I say “we” because I’m referring to Atlas and me. He’s become my regular
Ellen-watching partner. I think he might love you as much as I do, but I’ll
never tell him I write to you on a daily basis. That might seem a little too fan-
girl.
He’s been living in that house for two weeks now. He’s taken a few more
showers at my house and I give him food every time he visits. I even wash his
clothes for him while he’s here after school. He keeps apologizing to me, like he’s
a burden. But honestly, I love it. He keeps my mind off things and I actually
look forward to spending time with him after school every day.
Dad got home late tonight, which means he went to the bar after work.
Which means he’s probably going to instigate a fight with my mother. Which
means he’ll probably do something stupid again.