“I’m fine,” I said. “I’m just mad. Sometimes I cry when I get mad.”
He reached over and tucked my hair behind my ear. I liked it when he did
that and I suddenly wasn’t nearly as mad anymore. Then he put his arm
around me and pulled me to him so that my head was resting on his shoulder. I
don’t know how he calmed me down without even talking, but he did. Some
people just have a calming presence about them and he’s one of those people.
Completely opposite of my father.
We sat like that for a while, until I saw my bedroom light turn on.
“You should go,” he whispered. We could both see my mom standing in my
bedroom looking for me. It wasn’t until that moment that I realized what a
perfect view he has of my bedroom.
As I walked back home, I tried to think about the entire time Atlas has been
in that house. I tried to recall if I’d walked around after dark with the light on
at night, because all I normally wear in my room at night is a T-shirt.
Here’s what’s crazy about that, Ellen: I was kind of hoping I had.
—Lily
I close the journal when the pain pills start to kick in. I’ll read
more tomorrow. Maybe. Reading about the things my dad used to do
to my mom kind of puts me in a bad mood.
Reading about Atlas kind of puts me in a sad mood.
I try to fall asleep and think about Ryle, but the whole situation
with him kind of makes me mad and sad.
Maybe I’ll just think about Allysa, and how happy I am that she
showed up today. I could use a friend—not to mention help—during
these next few months. I have a feeling it’s going to be more stressful
than I bargained for.