15-05-2021-052358It-Ends-with-Us

beautiful thing I’d ever seen and I wanted to look at it every single
day.”
Oh.
“And that night I showed up at your door? I went searching for you
because no one in the history of my life has ever crawled under my
skin and refused to leave like you did. I didn’t know how to handle it.
And the reason I sent you flowers this week is because I am really,
really proud of you for following your dream. But if I sent you flowers
every time I’ve had the urge to send you flowers, you wouldn’t even
be able to fit inside your apartment. Because that’s how much I think
about you. And yes, Lily. You’re right. I’m hurting you, but I’m
hurting, too. And until tonight... I didn’t know why.”
I have no idea how I even possibly find the strength to speak after
that. “Why are you hurting?”
He drops his forehead to mine and says, “Because. I have no idea
what I’m doing. You make me want to be a different person, but what
if I don’t know how to be what you need? This is all new to me and I
want to prove to you that I want you for so much more than just one
night.”
He looks so vulnerable right now. I want to believe the genuine
look in his eye, but he’s been so adamant since the day that I met him
that he wants the exact opposite of what I want. And it terrifies me
that I’ll give in to him and he’ll walk away.
“How do I prove myself to you, Lily? Tell me and I’ll do it.”
I don’t know. I barely know the guy. I know him enough to know
that sex with him won’t be enough for me, though. But how do I
know sex won’t be the only thing he wants?
My eyes instantly lock with his. “Don’t have sex with me.”
He stares at me for a moment, completely unreadable. But then he
starts to nod his head like he’s finally getting it. “Okay,” he says, still
nodding. “Okay. I will not have sex with you, Lily Bloom.”
He walks around me to his bedroom door and he locks it. He flips
off the light, leaving only a lamp on, and then takes off his shirt as he
walks toward me.
“What are you doing?”
He tosses his shirt on a chair and then slips off his shoes. “We’re
going to sleep.”