24 THE CUT | MARCH 2–15, 2020
sometimes when i’m wearing a low-cut top,
I’ll glance down at my own cleavage. What’s going on
down there?Does the inside of my blouse look like the
balloon-filled ceiling of a political convention before the big
drop? Like two hearty scoops of flan wobbling
serenely in their fabric bowls?
On a recent inspection, I was dismayed. There,
at the bottom of a once-lavender-colored bra
I had lived in for the better part of two years, my
breasts pooled limply in its tired, gaping cups.
From its murky depths, the tops of my areolae
gazed up at me sadly.
Despite the titillating promises made by linge-
rie ads, most bras aren’t so much seductive
accessories as basic utilities, a containment
device you need to be able to move through the
world without getting knocked out by a tit when
you run to the 4 train. Once you find ones that
work for you, you hold on to them. Sometimes
it’s for emotional reasons. More often it’s
because, now that their chest is relatively secure,
bra wearers have other things they want to think
about and spend their money on.
That was my attitude, at least. So when a
friend recently asked me how long people are
supposed to keep their bras, my response was,
“Until they dissolve into dust on your body.”
As soon as I said it out loud, I realized that
maybe I was wrong. Maybe—possibly—people
shouldn’t wear a bra until it swings loosely around
their chest like tattered college honor cords.
If I was wrong, however, I certainly wasn’t alone.
“Too long,” most of the people answered when
I asked how long they kept their bras. How long is
too long, though? In a poll I sent out on Twitter, 28
percent of the more than 200 respondents said they
had owned most of their bras for between two and
three years; 33 percent said they had owned them
for less than two years; and 15 percent said they had
owned them for over five years. As for the state of
FEED
UGLY TRUTHS
Throw Out
Yo u r B r a ,
Already
An intimate look
at our worst intimates.
By Madeleine Aggeler
Photograph by HANNAH WHITAKERJenny, 57,
36B
PURCHASED
ROUGHLY 2010
“I ain’t exactly the
Fleur du Mal or Agent
Provocateur type.
I like a friendly
bra, not one that
intimidates.”Liz, 39
34C
PURCHASED
2004
“I met my husband at a
bar on the Lower
East Side while
wearing the bra. We
went home together,
and the rest is history.
Over the years, I’ve
gotten rid of the
asymmetrical black
top (!) and brown
skinny jeans (!) and ...
red rubber rain boots
(???) ... I was wearing
that night, but I’ve
never been able to
bring myself to throw
out the bra.”Lily, 29
34D
PURCHASED
2013
“The bra is a
orse. She
s t of wear,
but she also was
supremely hardy
to begin with, like
an old truck.”