Reader\'s Digest AU NZ 03.2020

heartfelt gestures like these do not

replace a condolence note.

Etiquette business emilypost.com,

which maintains and evolves the

standards of decorum that author

Emily Post established in her 1922

bookEtiquette, says

that commenting

inpublicforumsor

sendinganemailis

anacceptable first

gesture, aslong as

youfollow “witha

handwritten note

and, whenever

possible,attendance

at the funeral or

visitation.”

7

There’snotimelimitonsym-

pathyWritingimmediatelyis

notnecessary.Manymourners

areoverwhelmedintheimmediate

aftermath,andnumeroustoldme

theyespeciallyappreciatedcards

thatarrivedweeksorevenmonths

afterthedeath.Onefriendtoldme,

“I personallybackofffromdoing

anythingrightawayandofferto

takethegrieveroutforlunch,coffee

or dinnera monthorsolaterwhen

everyonehasreturnedtotheirlives

and thepersonisleftalonetodeal

with thepieces.”

Reynoldssaid:“Eventhree or

four monthslater,touchingbase

can help.I would

encourage people

tosendnotesonthe

deceased’sbirthday,

onthecouple’san-

niversary,orsome

other meaningful

occasion.”

If you still feel

daunted with the

pressuretocomeup

withtherightwords,dosomething

instead:takethedeceased’spetfora

walk,runanerrand,offertopickup

a relativefromtheairport.

Orfallbackonwhatloving

supportershavebeendoingfor

generations:sendfood,suchasfruit

basketsorcasseroles.

Citinghisownexperience,Young

saidsuchgesturesaremuchappre-

ciated:“You’vegottoeat.”

THISVERSIONWASCONDENSEDBYRE ADER’S

DIGEST.© 2016 BYNEWYORKTIMESCO.

Mourners

also appreciate

cards that

arrive weeks

or months

later

Sound Colours

Does ‘aa’ in ‘baa’ sound more green or more redtoyou?Eventhough

speech and colour are perceived with differentsensoryorgans,most

people agree about what colours and vowelsfitwitheachother.

A large majority of the 1000 subjects said ‘aa’wasmoreredthan

green, according to University of Edinburgh researchers.sciencedaily

89

The Art of Condolence