AllInaDay’sWorkNo Half Measures
Overheard at a paint store:
CUSTOMER: How much for a litre
of that paint?
ASSISTANT: Forty-two dollars.
CUSTOMER: Do you have a smaller
litre? SUBMITTED BY LOUISE ARRUDA
Spelling It Out
I’m known as a stickler for good
spelling. So when an associate
emailed technical documents and
asked me to “decifer” them, I had to
set him straight. “Decipher is spelled
with a ph, not an f,” I wrote. “In case
you’ve forgotten, Spellchecker comes
free with your Microsoft program.”
A minute later came his reply:
“Must be dephective.”
SUBMITTED BY NORMAN MIDDLETONA Question of Time
I’ve never wanted to know the
answer to anything bad enough to
ask a question at a meeting that’s
running 30 minutes over time.
@ABBYHASISSUESBOSS: “This is the third time you’ve
been late this week. Do you know
what that means?
ME: “It’s only Wednesday.”Upon finding a
clearly plagiarised
paper, I called the
student into my
office. Pointing to my
computer screen,
I said, “I found your
entire paper online.
Do you have anything
you want to say
about that?”
Her angry
response: “Well, I
paid my sister to write
it, but I didn’t think
she’d plagiarise!”
CHRISTINA M. RAUWhen I was in
Year Eight, two kids
stole the teacher’s
book with the test
answers. But our
teacher realised that
they had cheated
on the test. How?
They wrote “Answers
will vary” for some
of the questions.
collegeconfidential.comA PhD student
plagiarised in his
dissertation.
The source? His
external examiner.
science_expatCHEATERS NEVER PROSPER
Funny experiences with plagiarism from educators and students91