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June 24th

THE TRULY EDUCATED AREN’T QUARRELSOME

“The beautiful and good person neither fights with anyone nor, as

much as they are able, permits others to fight... this is the

meaning of getting an education—learning what is your own affair

and what is not. If a person carries themselves so, where is there

any room for fighting?”

—EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 4.5.1; 7 b–8a

ocrates famously traveled around Athens, approaching the people he
disagreed with most, and engaging them in long discussions. In these
discussions—or what record we have of them—there are many examples of
his conversation mates getting exasperated, upset, or aggravated by his
many questions. Indeed, the people of Athens eventually got so upset, they
sentenced Socrates to death.
But Socrates never seemed to get upset himself. Even when talking
about matters of life and death, he always kept his cool. He was much more
interested in hearing what the other person had to say than making sure he
was heard or—as most of us insist upon—winning the argument.
The next time you face a political dispute or a personal disagreement,
ask yourself: Is there any reason to fight about this? Is arguing going to
help solve anything? Would an educated or wise person really be as
quarrelsome as you might initially be inclined to be? Or would they take a
breath, relax, and resist the temptation for conflict? Just think of what you
could accomplish—and how much better you would feel—if you could
conquer the need to fight and win every tiny little thing.