A

November 24th

TRAIN TO LET GO OF WHAT’S NOT YOURS

“Whenever you experience the pangs of losing something, don’t

treat it like a part of yourself but as a breakable glass, so when it

falls you will remember that and won’t be troubled. So too,

whenever you kiss your child, sibling, or friend, don’t layer on top

of the experience all the things you might wish, but hold them

back and stop them, just as those who ride behind triumphant

generals remind them they are mortal. In the same way, remind

yourself that your precious one isn’t one of your possessions, but

something given for now, not forever.. .”

—EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 3.24.84–86a

t a Roman triumph, the majority of the public would have their eyes
glued to the victorious general at the front—one of the most coveted
spots during Roman times. Only a few would notice the aide in the back,
right behind the commander, whispering into his ear, “Remember, thou art
mortal.” What a reminder to hear at the peak of glory and victory!
In our own lives, we can train to be that whisper. When there is
something we prize—or someone that we love—we can whisper to
ourselves that it is fragile, mortal, and not truly ours. No matter how strong
or invincible something feels, it never is. We must remind ourselves that it
can break, can die, can leave us.
Loss is one of our deepest fears. Ignorance and pretending don’t make
things any better. They just mean the loss will be all the more jarring when
it occurs.