M

March 6th

DON’T TELL YOURSELF STORIES

“In public avoid talking often and excessively about your

accomplishments and dangers, for however much you enjoy

recounting your dangers, it’s not so pleasant for others to hear

about your affairs.”

—EPICTETUS, ENCHIRIDION, 33.14

odern philosopher Nassim Taleb has warned of the “narrative
fallacy”—the tendency to assemble unrelated events of the past into
stories. These stories, however gratifying to create, are inherently
misleading. They lead to a sense of cohesion and certainty that isn’t real.
If that’s too heady, remember that as Epictetus points out, there is
another reason not to tell stories about your past. It’s boring, annoying, and
self-absorbed. It might make you feel good to dominate the conversation
and make it all about you, but how do you think it is for everyone else? Do
you think people are really enjoying the highlights of your high school
football days? Is this really the time for another exaggerated tale of your
sexual prowess?
Try your best not to create this fantasy bubble—live in what’s real.
Listen and connect with people, don’t perform for them.