J

March 9th

FIND THE RIGHT SCENE

“Above all, keep a close watch on this—that you are never so tied

to your former acquaintances and friends that you are pulled down

to their level. If you don’t, you’ll be ruined.... You must choose

whether to be loved by these friends and remain the same person,

or to become a better person at the cost of those friends... if you

try to have it both ways you will neither make progress nor keep

what you once had.”

—EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 4.2.1; 4–5

“From good people you’ll learn good, but if you mingle with the

bad you’ll destroy such soul as you had.”

—MUSONIUS RUFUS, QUOTING THEOGNIS OF MEGARA, LECTURES, 11.53.21–22

im Rohn’s widely quoted line is: “You are the average of the five people
you spend the most time with.” James Altucher advises young writers
and entrepreneurs to find their “scene”—a group of peers who push them to
be better. Your father might have given you a warning when he saw you
spending time with some bad kids: “Remember, you become like your
friends.” One of Goethe’s maxims captures it better: “Tell me with whom
you consort and I will tell you who you are.”
Consciously consider whom you allow into your life—not like some
snobby elitist but like someone who is trying to cultivate the best life
possible. Ask yourself about the people you meet and spend time with: Are
they making me better? Do they encourage me to push forward and hold me
accountable? Or do they drag me down to their level? Now, with this in
mind, ask the most important question: Should I spend more or less time
with these folks?