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March 12th

SEEING THINGS AS THE PERSON AT FAULT DOES

“Whenever someone has done wrong by you, immediately consider

what notion of good or evil they had in doing it. For when you see

that, you’ll feel compassion, instead of astonishment or rage. For

you may yourself have the same notions of good and evil, or

similar ones, in which case you’ll make an allowance for what

they’ve done. But if you no longer hold the same notions, you’ll

be more readily gracious for their error.”

—MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 7.26

ocrates, perhaps the wisest person to ever live, used to say that “nobody
does wrong willingly.” Meaning that no one is wrong on purpose either.
Nobody thinks they’re wrong, even when they are. They think they’re right,
they’re just mistaken. Otherwise, they wouldn’t think it anymore!
Could it be that the slights you’ve experienced or the harm that others
have done to you was not inflicted intentionally? What if they simply
thought they were doing the right thing—for them, even for you? It’s like
the memorial for Confederate soldiers at Arlington (obviously a cause that
was wrongly fought for by people doing wrong), which states, in part, that
the Confederate soldiers served “in simple obedience to duty, as they
understood it.” Again—they understood wrongly, but it was their genuine
understanding, just as Lincoln was genuine when he ended his famous
Cooper Union speech by saying, “Let us, to the end, dare to do our duty as
we understand it.”
How much more tolerant and understanding would you be today if you
could see the actions of other people as attempts to do the right thing?
Whether you agree or not, how radically would this lens change your
perspective on otherwise offensive or belligerent actions?