respect
forhim
gradually
turnedintoaformof
worship:
Hewasnota
mere
mortal,
they
believed,
butthesonofa
god.
Interpretation
Deioceswasamanof
great
ambition.Hedetermined
early
onthatthe
country
neededa
strongruler,
andthathewasthemanforthe
job.
lnaland
plagued
with
anarchy,
the
most
powerful
manisthe
judge
andarbiter.
So
Deioces
began
hiscareer
bymaking
his
reputation
asaman
of
impeccable
fairness.
Atthe
height
ofhis
power
asa
judge,
however,
Deiocesrealizedthe
truthofthelawofabsenceand
presence:Byserving
so
many
clients,
he
had
becometoo
noticeable,
too
available,andhadlost
the
respect
he
had
earlier
enjoyed.People
were
taking
hisservicesfor
granted.
The
onlyway
to
regain
thevenerationand
power
hewantedwas towithdrawcom-
pletely,
andlettheMedestastewhatlifewaslikewithouthim.Asheex-
pected,they
came
begging
forhimtorule.
OnceDeioceshaddiscoveredthetruthofthis
law,
hecarriedittoits
ultimaterealization.Inthe
palace
his
people
hadbuiltfor
him,
nonecould
seehim
except
a
few
courtiers,
andthose
onlyrarely.
AsHerodotus
wrote,
“Therewasariskthatif
they
sawhim
habitually,
it
might
leadto
jealousy
and
resentment,
and
plots
would
follow;
butif
nobody
saw
him,
the
legend
would
grow
thathewasa
being
ofadifferentorderfrommoremen.”
A
man
saidtoaDervish.‘
“Why
doI
notsee
you
mm
ofim?"
The
Dervish
replied,
“Becausethewords
‘Why
have
you
notbeentoseeme?’are
sweeterto
my
earthanthewords
‘Why
have
you
come
again
.9’
”
Mnlllofami.quoted
in[driesS./uzh'5(Jaravanof
I)remns_.
1.968
KEYSTOPOWER
Everything
intheworld
depends
onabsenceand
presence.
A
strongpres-
encewilldraw
power
andattentionto
you—you
shinemore
brightly
than
thosearound
you.
Buta
point
is
inevitably
reached
where
too
much
pres-
ence
createsthe
opposite
effect:Themore
you
areseenandheard
from,
themore
your
value
degrades.
Youbecomeahabit.Nomatterhowhard
youtry
tobe
different,
subtly,
without
your
knowing
why.peoplerespect
you
lessandless.Atthe
right
moment
you
mustleamtowithdraw
yourself
before
theyunconsciouslypushyouaway.
It
isa
game
of
hide—and~seek.
Thetruth
ofthis
law
canmost
easily
be
appreciated
inmattersoflove
andseduction.Inthe
beginningstages
ofan
affair,
the1over‘sabsencestim-
ulates
your
imagination,forming
asortofauraaroundhimorher.Butthis
aurafadeswhen
you
knowtoomuch--~when
yourimagination
no
longer
hasroomtoroam.Thelovedonebecomesa
person
like
anyone
else,
a
person
whose
presence
istakenfor
granted.
Thisis
why
theseventeenth-
century
FrenchcourtesanNinondeLenclosadvisedconstantfeintsatwith
drawalfromone’slover.“Loveneverdiesof
starvation,”
she
wrote,
“but
oftenof
indigestion.”
LAW 16
.
119