day of forced shared learning are
endless, even if the whole thing
requires a little bit of planning.
Infrastructure-wise, we might
come across some problems, but it’s
nothing that can’t be solved with
the nationwide distribution of
study snacks and increased access
to some high-quality podcasts.
The problem with our fake-
fact world is that we don’t have
a bunch of time dedicated to
getting our facts straight. Even
with plenty of education and an
unfettered stream of access to
almost everything I could want
to know, I’ve somehow failed to
get my head across 99 per cent
of the shit that’s going down in
- Give me an unexpected
day off and I will fill it with
20 straight hours of nothing. Part
of the problem is that there’s an
overwhelming amount of stuff to
learn, and no clear place to start,
so it’s ultimately much easier
to give up on knowing anything
and instead watch every single
YouTube video in no particular
order. Ask me what’s happening
almost anywhere and I’m a beacon
of ignorance, but I’ve now watched
a good hundred hours of Buzzfeed
videos about chicken dinners, so
at least I can roast you a potato.
Obviously I’m more in need of
this particular public holiday
than others, but that’s OK. For
people who are already actively
on top of giving a proper shit
about the world, this can be a day
of rest and reward. For the rest
of us, it’s time to acknowledge
we don’t really understand all
that much about *insert conflict/
political nightmare/huge travesty
here*, because the first step
is always to admit we have a
problem. And in this case, I’m
pretty sure the problem could
be remedied – at least a little
bit – with a nationwide day of
low-level shaming, followed by
a week-long period of sharing.
In the end, we can’t really
hope for miracles, but any step
away from mass confusion and
misunderstanding seems like
it’s worth a public holiday.
By
Eleanor
Robertson
Every time it’s the Queen’s
Birthday holiday, some smart-
arse complains it’s not the Queen’s
real birthday. They’ve fired up
the Wikipedia page for Queen
Elizabeth II, and gotten wise to
the fact that our public holiday
is arbitrarily determined, with
only a loose historical connection
to the day on which the monarch
was born. This is a dog act, because
the real purpose of public holidays
is to give everyone a day off. Any
excuse will do. Respecting public
holidays means giving people a
break from the kind of dickhead
behaviour they have to put up
with at work, and that means
not being a control freak pedant
who makes everyone else listen
to your pointless opinions.Because public holidays are really
about doing fuck all, the best
excuse for a new one is purely a
matter of utility. The question
is not, “Which event or person
deserves its own public holiday”,
but rather, “Which reason for
a day off work is most likely
to be accepted as legitimate by
the people who decide when
public holidays happen”. In
most jurisdictions, this decision
falls to one of the branches of
government, so, to refine the
question, it is: “Which reason
for a day off work is most likely
to be affirmed by the state”.You could go two ways with
this. On one hand, you could do
some shoe leather investigation
to figure out which person
specifically has the most
influence over public holidays,
find out what they personally
like, and then campaign for
a new holiday based on their
hobbies or passions. Does the
Undersecretary for Holidays (or
whatever) like Chinese opera? Push
for a National Chinese Opera Day.Do they like getting a McDonald’s
Filet O’ Fish and placing it inside
a Big Mac to create a disgusting
Frankenburger? Frankenburger
Friday is the way to go there, plus
you’ve got the added support of big
business to get it off the ground.But getting hyper-local isn’t really
in the relaxing spirit of public
holidays – it’s a lot of work, and
the whole process would have to be
repeated in every separate place with
its own holiday schedule. You’d need
a public holiday dedicated to figuring
out which specific public holiday
to campaign for, which traps you
in a hopeless recursive loop. I need
a day off just thinking about it.Instead, it seems smart to go broad,
which is why I’d like to suggest
a public holiday dedicated to
obeying the law. This is the one
thing all governments have in
common – regardless of incidentals
like ideology, physical location,
institutional stability, or who
personally is in charge. You’re not
going to find many law-making
or law-enforcing authorities who
won’t be keen on a day to promote
doing what they tell you to do. Sure,
it sounds a wee bit fascist, but the
subversive undertones are obvious:
what’s funnier than being freed from
any material obligations on a day
devoted to enforcing them? Crack a
tinnie to celebrate wage labour! Get
up late and lie around in your undies
to show respect for productivity and
civic engagement. It’s a large-scale
version of turning a ‘Cops Are Tops’
promotional water bottle into a bong.Sure, it’s dumb, but is pretending to
show respect for the law any dumber
than pretending to observe the birth
of the Queen? The sleep-in feels just
as good either way. What matters
is not the actual occasion, but the
experience of getting to do whatever
you want. ‘Do Whatever You Want
For a Day’ day would be a great
public holiday, but the existence
of a government that claims the
right to decide what you have to
do on all the other days makes it
a non-starter. Obey the Law Day?
Now that might get off the ground,
unlike me on Obey the Law Day.writers’ piece