But dragons, which do exist (perhaps more than anything else exists) also
hoard gold. In that collapse into the terrible mess of uncomprehended Being
lurks the possibility of new and benevolent order. Clarity of thought—
courageous clarity of thought—is necessary to call it forth.
The problem itself must be admitted to, as close to the time of its
emergence as possible. “I’m unhappy,” is a good start (not “I have a right to
be unhappy,” because that is still questionable, at the beginning of the
problem-solving process). Perhaps your unhappiness is justified, under the
current circumstances. Perhaps any reasonable person would be displeased
and miserable to be where you are. Alternatively, perhaps, you are just whiny
and immature? Consider both at least equally probable, as terrible as such
consideration might appear. Just exactly how immature might you be?
There’s a potentially bottomless pit. But at least you might rectify it, if you
can admit to it.
We parse the complex, tangled chaos, and specify the nature of things,
including ourselves. It is in this way that our creative, communicative
exploration continually generates and regenerates the world. We are shaped
and informed by what we voluntarily encounter, and we shape what we
inhabit, as well, in that encounter. This is difficult, but the difficulty is not
relevant, because the alternative is worse.
Maybe our errant husband ignored the dinner conversation of his wife
because he hated his job and was tired and resentful. Maybe he hated his job
because his career was forced on him by his father and he was too weak or
“loyal” to object. Maybe she put up with his lack of attention because she
believed that forthright objection itself was rude and immoral. Maybe she
hated her own father’s anger and decided, when very young, that all
aggression and assertiveness were morally wrong. Maybe she thought her
husband wouldn’t love her if she had any opinions of her own. It is very
difficult to put such things in order—but damaged machinery will continue to
malfunction if its problems are neither diagnosed nor fixed.
Wheat from Chaff
Precision specifies. When something terrible happens, it is precision that
separates the unique terrible thing that has actually happened from all the
other, equally terrible things that might have happened—but did not. If you