9781529032178

stress and depression, and social support—and fewer hours with a
nonparental caretaker.
To complicate matters further, an idea that has been gaining scientific
momentum in recent years is that we are genetically predisposed toward a
certain attachment style. It was found, for example, that adult identical
twins, who share 100 percent of genes, are much more likely to have the
same attachment style than nonidentical twins, who share only 50 percent
of genes. Both identical and fraternal twins are thought to share the same
basic environment. In other words, genes too play an important role in
determining our attachment style.
But even if we were secure in infancy, will it last into adulthood? To test
this question, attachment researchers reassessed subjects who had been
infants in the 1970s and 1980s and were now around 20 years old. Would
the men and women classified as secure in early childhood remain secure as
adults? The answer remains unclear: Three studies failed to find a
correlation between attachment security in infancy and in adulthood, while
two other studies did find a statistically significant connection between the
two. What is clear is that even if there is a correlation between attachment
style in childhood and in adulthood, it is weak at best.
So where does the secure attachment come from? As more studies
become available, there is increasing evidence that a secure attachment
style doesn’t originate from a single source. The equation of a caring and
sensitive parent producing a secure-for-life child is too one-dimensional;
instead it seems that an entire mosaic of factors comes together to create
this attachment pattern: our early connection with our parents, our genes,
and also something else—our romantic experiences as adults. On average,
about 70 to 75 percent of adults remain consistently in the same attachment
category at different points in their lives, while the remaining 30 to 25 to 30
percent of the population report a change in their attachment style.
Researchers attribute this change to romantic relationships in adulthood
that are so powerful that they actually revise our most basic beliefs and
attitudes toward connectedness. And yes, that change can happen in both
directions—secure people can become less secure and people who were
originally insecure can become increasingly secure. If you are insecure, this
piece of information is vital and could be your ticket to happiness in