take a moment of his time but would reduce Georgia’s worry greatly. This
solution worked wonders for their relationship. For Georgia, receiving a
“thinking of you” message enabled her to calm down and concentrate better
at work, and Henry felt less resentful once he realized that Georgia wasn’t
out to destroy his career by endless nagging. In fact, by invoking his boss’s
special relationship with his wife, he could see how a secure base could
help advance his career. At night when they met, the tension was gone and
the neediness and hostility were no longer there.
THE TOOTHPASTE INCIDENT
Sam really wanted Grace to move in with him when she moved to New
York City. They’d been together for over two years and he thought that it
would be nice to take their relationship to a higher level. Besides, they were
staying at each other’s place all the time and think of the rent they would
save! Grace preferred not to move into Sam’s apartment. She wanted to rent
a bigger place instead, where they could both start on equal footing. But
Sam refused; he loved his little apartment and saw no reason to spend
money when he owned a place of his own. He was sure that they could
make it work. He did have some hesitations, though. He’d never lived with
anyone before and he was very set in his ways. But over the years, he’d also
felt the loneliness that comes with self-sufficiency and wanted something
more. Then when Grace moved in, Sam started to feel the pressure
mounting. Sometimes he felt he was going to suffocate. Her things were
everywhere. He felt that he was losing his quiet sanctuary, and quite
literally that his home had been invaded. Finally one day he lost it—it was
about the toothpaste. Grace always squeezed the toothpaste from the
middle, while he made sure to carefully squeeze it from the bottom up.
When he noticed the distorted toothpaste tube, he became furious and told
Grace that she was sloppy and careless. Grace was caught off guard; she’d
been trying very hard to make her presence in the apartment unobtrusive,
and an attack was the last thing she expected.
A while later, after thinking things over, Sam made the following
revelations: