- Ask yourself what life is like for you in the “inner circle.”
If you can’t decide to break up, ask yourself whether you are
treated like royalty or like the enemy. If you’re the enemy,
it’s time to go. - Build a support network ahead of time. Start to open up to
friends and family about what your relationship is really like.
This will rekindle friendships you might have neglected due
to shame or plain misery, and will also prepare them to help
you when you make your move (see how in strategy 7). - Find a comforting, supportive place to stay for the first
few nights. You’ll need all the support you can get at first.
The temptation to rebound is very strong. Parents, siblings,
or your closest friends can help you control that urge. - Get your attachment needs met in other ways. Recruit
support from the people closest to you and seek diversions
like a massage, plenty of exercise, and comforting, healthy
food. The more you are able to quiet down your attachment
system, the less painful the separation will be. - Don’t be ashamed if you slip up and go back to “the
scene of the crime.” Obviously you’re better off not
reestablishing contact with your ex, but if you end up doing
so, don’t beat yourself up. It is very important that you be
compassionate with yourself. The worse you feel about
yourself, the more you’ll want to go back to the false safety
of the bad relationship you were in. Your attachment system
gets activated more when you feel bad about yourself and an
activated attachment system means wanting to renew contact
even more. - If you’re having a hard time, don’t feel guilty.
Remember, the pain is real! Friends might urge you to
forget about your ex, stop feeling sorry for yourself, and
move on quickly. But we know that the pain you’re feeling is
real, so don’t deny it. Instead, be kind to yourself and find
ways to pamper your body and soul. You would if you had a
broken leg!
duaa sulaimanylg6qt
(Duaa Sulaimanylg6QT)
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