- Focus on your needs. The idea is to get your needs across. When
expressing your needs, we are always referring to needs that take
your partner’s well-being into consideration as well. If they end up
hurting him or her, you’re sure to get hurt too; after all, you and
your partner are an emotional unit. When expressing your needs, it’s
helpful to use verbs such as need, feel, and want, which focus on
what you are trying to accomplish and not on your partner’s
shortcomings:- “I need to feel confident in the relationship. When you chat
up the waitress, I feel like I’m on thin ice.” - “I feel devalued when you contradict me in front of your
friends. I need to feel that you respect my opinions.” - “I want to know I can trust you. When you go to bars with
your friends, I worry a lot that you’ll cheat on me.”
- “I need to feel confident in the relationship. When you chat
- Be specific. If you speak in general terms, your partner may not
understand exactly what you really need, which may lower his or
her chances of getting it right. State precisely what is bothering you:- When you don’t stay the night...
- When you don’t check up on me every day...
- When you said you loved me and then took it back...
- Don’t blame. Never make your partner feel selfish, incompetent, or
inadequate. Effective communication is not about highlighting the
other person’s shortcomings, and making accusations will quickly
lead you away from the point and into a dueling match. Make sure
to find a time when you’re calm to discuss things. You’ll find that
attempting to use effective communication when you’re on the
verge of exploding is a contradiction in terms—you’ll most likely
sound angry or judgmental. - Be assertive and nonapologetic. Your relationship needs are valid
—period. Though people with different attachment styles may not
see your concerns as legitimate, they’re essential for your happiness,
and expressing them authentically is crucial to effective
communication. This point is especially important if you have an
anxious attachment style, because our culture encourages you to
duaa sulaimanylg6qt
(Duaa Sulaimanylg6QT)
#1