Insecure tactics Daria used:Secure tactics Daria could use:Answer: Insecure. What’s the matter with Daria? He’s going on a singles
cruise to Brazil six months into their relationship? She should by all means
express her dismay. But instead of openly talking about her concerns, she
backs down. She fears that because she spoke her mind, the relationship may
end, so she tries to undo the damage by apologizing for raising the subject in
the first place. By doing so Daria is agreeing to a new unspoken pact in the
relationship: that her feelings and concerns are not that important.
Secure tactics Daria could use: She should effectively communicate her
needs; tell Marcus about her concerns, and how anxious the upcoming
vacation makes her feel about the future of their relationship. Marcus’s
reaction to her use of effective communication will be very significant. If he
continues to belittle her and devalue her feelings, then she must ask herself
whether she wants to be with someone like that for the long-term.
- On a car ride, Ruth is telling John how concerned she is about their
daughter’s difficulties in math. John nods throughout the conversation
but doesn’t say much. After a few minutes, Ruth lashes out: “Why is
this only my problem? She’s your daughter too, but you don’t seem to
care. Aren’t you worried about her?” John is taken aback by the
attack. After a minute or so, he says, “I’m really exhausted and the
driving is sapping all of my energy. I am very worried about this too,
but I can barely concentrate on the road as it is.”
John’s reaction is: