had told her about all my relationships and was not holding anything back,
she looked puzzled and asked if I hadn’t felt I was missing out on
something. Hadn’t I been worried that I was by myself for too long? Or that
I wasn’t going to find someone? Honestly, the thought that I wouldn’t find
someone never crossed my mind. Sure, I had my share of disappointments,
but I figured that when the time was right it would happen. And it did. I
knew I loved Mary almost immediately and told her so. When did she
reciprocate? I’m actually not sure, but I knew she was crazy about me even
before she told me.
Attachment Style: ____
Answer: Secure. There are several clues here that Logan has a secure
attachment style. He is not preoccupied with relationships nor does he fear
remaining alone, which rules out an anxious attachment style (although it
sounds like his girlfriend, Mary, is anxious for these reasons). The question
remains whether Logan has an avoidant or secure style. Several indicators
rule out an avoidant style: First, he seems to be very forthcoming with Mary
about his past relationships, puts all his cards on the table, and isn’t
annoyed by her nosiness (and doesn’t embellish his romantic history as
someone anxious might do). Second, he feels comfortable expressing his
feelings for Mary very early on, which is a typically secure trait. If he were
avoidant, he’d be more likely to send mixed signals. Also, notice that he
doesn’t engage in any game playing—he doesn’t keep track of when Mary
reciprocates; he is simply true to himself and acts in the most genuine
manner without letting other considerations rule.
- Suzanne, single, 33.
This Valentine’s Day will mark the beginning of the year when I will find
my husband. I’m tired of being alone; I’m sick of coming back to an empty
home, going to the movies by myself, having sex with myself or with some
stranger. This year I will find someone wonderful who will be mine! In the
past, I devoted myself completely to my partners and got badly hurt. I lost
faith in finding someone good. But I have to overcome the fear of getting
hurt. I’m willing to put myself out there, willing to take a risk and lose
myself. I understand that no pain, no gain, and without me opening my