resilient self, she looks back at the whole experience with bewilderment.
She can’t believe she wasted her time in therapy examining the deep-seated
roots of her “fanatical” behaviors surrounding that relationship. If only she
had met a good guy sooner—one who didn’t continuously activate her
attachment system—she would have spared herself from the unnecessary
scrutiny of her “masochistic borderline personality traits.”
THE WORKING OF THE ATTACHMENT SYSTEM
For someone who gets attached very quickly and has a very sensitive
attachment system, learning how the system functions is invaluable. Many
people with anxious attachment style, like Emily, live with a chronically
activated attachment system without realizing it. On the following page we
illustrate how the attachment system works.
THE ATTACHMENT SYSTEM: FINDING YOUR WAY TO THE
COMFORT ZONE