gun-control commercial. Maybe he can even control-alt-
escape us from climate change. At least he doesn’t seem like
he wants to abandon capitalism to do all this.
Who are his base, though? Upon whom will Bloomberg
build his movement? A Politicostory citing in its headline
“Buyer’s Remorse” for the Napoleon of East 79th Street led
with this image: “A corporate attorney and his gynecologist
wife rolled up soundlessly in their silver Tesla to canvass
for Mike Bloomberg.” In Charlotte, they “joined a group of
roughly a dozen people, about half of whom were paid
campaign staff.”
“Tesla Owners and Paid Staff for Bloomberg”? It could be
worse, I guess. “Coronavirus infectees and Harvey Weinstein
for Mike”? “IRS employees and the guy who banged the trash
can for the Houston Astros for Mike”?
Super Tuesday was Bloomberg’s first appearance on state
ballots, but he may have peaked before he got in the game.
As the votes were being counted, he looked set to emerge
with a modest number of delegates, having won only
American Samoa. The anti–Bernie Sanders vote appeared to
be consolidating around Joe Biden, not Bloomberg. Maybe
being a Democrat-turned-Republican-turned-Independent-
turned-Democrat who brags about all the black men he had
thrown up against the wall as mayor isn’t the way to win this
season. Or maybe Bloomberg’s problems go deeper than
that. Exit polls taken in South Carolina on Saturday showed
him with a 66 percent disapproval rating, against 26 percent
approval. A 66 percent disapproval? LSU probably polls better
than that in the Palmetto State. People seem not to like
Bloomberg, not after they’ve seen him live in person instead
of in canned ads.
Bloomberg presents as an experienced manager with all
the right progressive bona fides on gun control and climate
change. In the first six weeks of this year he shot up in polls.
A mid-February survey showed him leading the pack (by one
point) in Florida. On Valentine’s Day betting markets put
him in a strong second place, less than five points behind
Bernie Sanders, for the Democratic nomination. Bloomberg
was starting to cultivate some social-media swagger, pants-
ing Donald Trump on Twitter by informing POTUS that all
of their plutocrat mutual friends had always laughed at
Donald behind his back (are they still laughing, though?) and
winning chuckles at rallies with his favorite one-liner:
“People ask what it’ll be like to have two billionaires in the
race. I say who’s the other one?”
This Bloomberg must have intrigued Dems: Instead of a
sorrowful nod and a meek little plea that “this is not who we
are,” Bloomberg promised to punch Trump in the giblets.
Unlike the frail and distant Biden, who is so confused that
last month he said, “My name’s Joe Biden. I’m a Demo -
cratic candidate for the United States Senate,” Bloomberg
speaks from an unassailable height: atop Mount Money.
With a net worth of over $60 billion, he could buy 20
Trumps and have a few billion left over for lunch money.
Indeed, Bloomberg’s fortune is accumulating at such a rate
($107 million a day, according to the Washington Post) that
he could blow $5 billion on this campaign and be richer at
the end of this year than he was at the start of it. Last week
there emerged an exception to his policy of supporting the
eventual nominee, though: Bernie. Sanders’s campaign saidit wasn’t interested in Bloomberg’s money (“hard pass”),
and Bloomberg said he saw no point in writing checks no
one would cash. In the event that Sanders prevails in the pri-
mary, though, would Bloomberg be happy to sit out the gen-
eral election? Would he really prefer a socialist who says
billionaires are the fons et origo of American iniquity over
his old golfing buddy Trump? Maybe. Certainly Bloomberg
appears likely to be a major financial backer of Joe Biden,
should he be the nominee.F
EBRUARY19 looks like the most important day in
this race so far. Bloomberg didn’t just lose the Las
Vegas debate, he got his posterior first skewered,
then handed to him on a platter, like a piece of chicken
satay at one of his rallies. America can handle a leader—
don’t we know it!—whose past includes a few lawsuits
and some politically incorrect jokes. What we simply can-
not have is a cringing little dillweed who makes Charlie
Brown look macho. If your brand is Ninth Richest Man on
Earth, that brand cannot withstand a public arse-whipping
from a tiny faculty nerd who looks like she shops at
Kohl’s. Inept, awkward, hunted, haunted, and most of all,
small, were the adjectives that came to mind in Bloomberg’s
first debate in eleven years, the debacle that was watched by
20 million Americans, more than any of the previous
Democratic fora. Bloomberg should have done what Trump
does—return Elizabeth Warren’s attacks in kind. He should
have put political correctness—which poll after poll shows
even Democrats broadly hate—on trial and said, Yes, I was
part of a culture in which guys used to make tasteless
jokes. So what? “Relax, Elizabeth. Move on. The coun-
try’s at stake.”
If you’re apologizing, you’re losing. Trump understands
this, and the press understands it too, which is why it is
always trying to make him say he’s sorry. Bloomberg fell for
it. In Las Vegas he did nothing but apologize, cringe, and
blanch. He needed to come off as the new whale in the water.
Instead Warren turned shark. Bloomberg got exsanguinated
as grotesquely as Robert Shaw when he got bisected at the
end of Jaws. Most embarrassing of all, Warren appeared
taller than Bloomberg. America can learn to love a heel but
cannot abide a sniveler, a loser, a wimp. In North Carolina,
voters “were excited about Bloomberg,” chemist turned
activist Carolyn Eberly told Politico. “But I think the debate
in Nevada just kind of killed all that. At least that’s what I’ve
heard locally.”
It seemed nearly superfluous on February 29, when Trump
himself kicked Mini Mike around at the Conservative Political
Action Conference, crouching down to Bloom bergian level
and doing a priceless impression of The Incredible Shrinking
Mayor at the Vegas debate: “Get me off of the stage!,” Trump
imagined Bloomberg crying. At the same appearance, Trump
said, “I’d like to spend $700 million and end up with nothing.”
Bloomberg’s actual “spend” is already north of $500 million.
Bloomberg spent even more, per capita, in his three mayoral
contests. In the third one, he spent $102 million, which turned
out to be $174 per vote, and still won only 51 percent against
a sacrificial lamb (a milquetoast named Bill Thompson) he
had outspent by 14 to 1. Mayors are limited to two terms, per252col_QXP-1127940309.qxp 3/4/2020 1:53 AM Page 25
UPLOADED BY "What's News" vk.com/wsnws TELEGRAM: t.me/whatsnws