talking is a pattern of fixated and obsessive behaviour
which is repeated, persistent and intrusive. This
unwanted attention can involve something as
seemingly innocuous as regularly sending flowers or
gifts, to making unwanted or malicious communications.
It can escalate to damaging property and even assault. The
parameters of this can be vague, but if the behaviour is
persistent and clearly unwanted, causing fear, distress or
anxiety, then it is stalking and no one should have to live
with it. That is, unless you trust what you see in romantic
comedies, in which case, not only should you live with it
but you should find this all positively delightful.
For decades mainstream films have been framing
stalking as a quaint love ritual. Though one would expect
this more in classic-era cinema, it actually remains
prevalent in modern romantic films as well. Obsessive,
unhealthy and sinister behaviour is rendered as noble,
whimsical devotion. We are all aware of how pornography
can skew our perception of sex, but studies have also
shown that exposure to rom-coms that feature men
engaging in stalker-like behaviour make women more
likely to tolerate obsessiveness from prospective romantic
partners. Here are some of the most insidious tropes of
stalking as romance.- OBSESSING
OVER A PERSON
YOU BARELY KNOW
What could be more romantic than love at first sight? That
fabled moment when your eyes meet and you immediately
know that you are meant to be together. When Gene Kelly
spots Leslie Caron in a bar in An American in Paris he is
instantly smitten and will stop at nothing to win her over
despite her repeatedly begging him to leave her alone.
Woody Allen, never one to shy away from a disturbing
power dynamic, steals, bribes and blackmails to track down
the porn star who is his adopted son’s biological mother in
Mighty Aphrodite. Allen then doubles down to pick apart
and reassemble this seemingly content woman’s life to
resemble one he deems suitable. Worst of all is Andrew
Lincoln’s character in Richard Curtis’ soppy portmanteau,
Love, Actually, who is so consumed by his obsession with
his friend’s wife that he edits together long videos of close
ups of her face. When he then shows up at her home
in the middle of the night to silently declare his terrifying
devotion to her – a woman with whom he has never had a
full conversation – she is inexplicably delighted.S
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