Little White Lies - 03.2020 - 04.2020

Would h8 to push a gal over thee edge

I feel the confidence thing so fucking hard. Like

I have been in this industry 7+ years and give

my all to my writing and still question whether I

belong here almost every day

Right, and the best you can hope for is

a symbolic victory

Compared to when?

The beast within has been released

Have you observed the
mechanisms by which this happens?

The knowledge that you did the best you

could, but yours is a hidden life – s/o to terry

If it’s not too personal a question, how often do
you enter the spiral of despair, just because it looks
from the outside, from your challenging activist
twitter persona, that you are railing at the forces
that be, full of the courage of your convictions?

I would watch your TEDTalk fwiw

Love to imagine you stepping out onto the stage

and starting with one single punchy word

HAHAHAHAHAHA

But I think the thing I keep coming

back to is this sense of powerlessness

to actually enact change

You can do all the right

things and still be fucked.

Oh I’d say the despair spirals are

semi-regular. The other day I was having

drinks with a male friend and he said

‘You seem much angrier nowadays’

I suppose last year, since we’ve only

known each other since then. I don’t

know if I’m angrier or louder

I think I’ve become more frustrated, for sure

I see so many awful men prospering, and

women who deserve better

Sometimes it’s a case of them being in

this industry long enough that no one

challenges their position, but mostly it’s

down to confidence I think

That’s what they want you to think!

That‘s interesting. Like self-gaslighting?

I know! But I’ve been drinking their water for

so long, it‘s hard to purge it from my system

At the Times Up meeting that we hosted in

January the term that came up was “gaslighting”

• for when you think that you just suck, as
  opposed to there being certain entrenched
  inequalities that stop you from progressing

I believe the excellent lady was discussing the

industry but I absolutely believe that we gaslight

ourselves, yes, and how do you root something

out when it‘s so deep that it’s in your actual head?

This is an actual question. Help me hannah. SOS

It‘s very hard to say anything that

doesn‘t sound like a TEDTalk isn’t it?

Quite like the idea of having Britney radio mics

‘WOMEN‘

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