André Jacquemin — Python
collaborator and co-writer
of ‘Every Sperm Is Sacred’
— remembersTerry Jones,
who died in JanuaryI HAVE WORKED with all the Pythons,
alongside my professional partner Dave
Howman, for the last 50 years — since I was
a young, fledgling sound engineer. We’ve
worked with them as ateam and individually,
and we thank our good fortune that they
have kept us laughing for all this time. Every
Python has a unique individual personality
that made them into the successful comedy
team they have been. So it is with such
sadness that our dear friend Terry Jones
decided that it was time to take his humour
and lighten the heavens above.
Terry was passionate with everything
he did. I remember, back in the early 1980s,
Dave Howman and I were working in the
studio when Terry burst in. He urgently
started asking if Dave and I could come up
with the music for a song calledEvery Sperm
Is Sacred. And he wanted it there and then. So
we tried several versions around the piano,
until we finally worked out the routine.
The song, which ended up inMonty
Python’s Meaning Of Life(which Terry also
directed), became one of Python’s most
famous songs, and was nominated for a Best
Original Song at the BAFTAs — even with
those lyrics. To our disappointment, we
were beaten byUp Where We Belong,
fromAn Officer And A Gentleman. Mike Palin
remarked that Cher, who was the presenter
for that category, probably just didn’t want
to mention sperm. In fact, Terry later recalled
that when filming that sequence, he had to
get some of the younger kids to sing “perm”,
instead of “sperm”.
Terry was always a generous friend
outside of work, and I’m grateful for the great
dinners we had together. Occasionally, he just
would call me to say, “We over-cooked! Would
you like to pop over and join us for dinner?”
As I was living just round the corner, I would
always oblige him. It was always amazing thathe could knock something up really quickly
as well. His fish pie was amazing. (He played
a fish inThe Meaning Of Life, though I’m not
sure if that has anything to do with it.)
It was a weird day when I got the news
about Terry’s passing. I was working on
putting some of Terry’s sketches into our
archive, and had very recently finished
the country version remix single ofI’m So
Worried. Hearing Terry blaring through
my speakers, it was as if he was still with us.
As large as life.
What was particularly weird was that
back in 1989, I was remixing a version of
theMedical Love Song, which Graham
Chapman sang with Eric Idle, when the
phone rang. It was Eric, calling from the
hospital to let me know that Graham had
just died.
I think I should be careful with what
Python remixes I do in the future. We can’t
afford to lose any more of them.Top to bottom:The street scene forEvery Sperm Is
SacredfromMonty Python’s Meaning Of Life; A bit
of a devil, that Terry Jones.From far left:
Hands up if you
actually are
Spartacus;
Douglas as
Colonel Dax in
Stanley Kubrick’s
Path Of Glory
(1957); On the
set ofThe
Vikings(1958).
Watch out, Kirk,
that falcon might
take your eye
out...oh.He said, ‘Kirk, you’re a star, we’ll get a limousine
and driver for you.’ It had a nice blanket in the
back so I just jumped in with my tunic on —
I thought, ‘I’ll get changed when I get there.’
“I pulled the blanket over me and I thought,
‘He’s right, Iama star. Goddammit, I used to
hitchhike to college.’ And here we are and
I’m dreaming about what a big man I am and
we turned into a gas station. I thought, ‘I’ll have
to go to the men’s room,’ and they had a bar
there, so I quickly dropped over to get a beer and
I turned around and I saw the driver coming
back to the car and he drives off down the road.
I called up a police station up ahead and said, ‘My
name’s Kirk Douglas. My driver is driving the car,
he thinks I’m sleeping in the back.’ And he said,
‘Don’t be a wise guy.’
“Ten minutes ago I was a movie star and
the head of a big company and now I’m there on
the goddamn highway. I got so mad I started
hitchhiking. We were supposed to go to dinner
at Dean Martin’s house. [At the house] my
wife hears a car and comes out and the driver
opens the back and she goes, ‘Hey, did you lose
my husband?’ It’s like God teaching you a lesson
in humility...”
The American Academy Of Dramatic Arts
did provide him with the following citation:
“Kirk Douglas’s talent begins in the soles of his
feet and ends in the spirit that can vault beyond
the stars.”
“That,” utters the great man, “sounds a little
bit like someone who’s dead...”
Well, try this one for size then: “Kirk would
be the first person to tell you that he’s a very
difficult man and I would be the second.”
“Who said that?” Burt Lancaster. “Hahahaha!
He must have meant something,” chuckles Kirk
of his old mucker. “He could say it about me and
I could say it about him. We’re both tough.”
JEFF DAWSONGoodbye to my friend, Terry
No. / 6
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