the spectator | 29 february 2020 | http://www.spectator.co.uk 25MARY WAKEFIELD
Why did no one believe Johnny Depp?
a rock’n’roll LA marriage into something
more like Single White Female.
After recording two, I was not Team
Amber anymore. Worse: I wasn’t even on
my own team. Amber Heard was right.
No one had thought to believe Johnny for a
second, no one had questioned her version
of events, not because she had a watertight
case — but because she was a woman.
To understand how crazy that last record-
ing is, you have to understand something of
the history of the Depp/Heard affair. In the
summer of 2016, after just a year of mar-
riage, Amber accused Johnny of hitting her.
She posted photos of her slightly bruisedright eye on Instagram, and as she filed for
divorce she took out a restraining order.
There really wasn’t much in the way of evi-
dence, but Amber looked the very picture
of a 21st-century victim: beautiful, fragile,
bravely out as pansexual. The world rallied
round and anyone who even considered
questioning Amber’s account of events was
quickly labelled a misogynist.
Both Depp’s ex-wives seemed confused.
Vanessa Paradis said: ‘In all these years I
have known Johnny he has never been phys-
ically abusive with me and this looks nothing
like the man I lived with for 14 wonderfulyears.’ Depp’s first wife, Lori Anne Allison,
agreed, saying he was a ‘soft person’. Depp’s
daughter Lily-Rose Depp defended him too,
and was attacked by Grazia magazine as a
result: ‘Heard’s voice counts and our insidi-
ous, doubting voices do not.’
Johnny believes the furore caused him
to lose his most lucrative gig, the role of
Captain Jack Sparrow in the Pirates of the
Caribbean film series, and no one thought
it unfair. I didn’t think it unfair, I simply
assumed that Johnny was a cad. It never
occurred to me or to the usual activists
against abuse that Johnny could be the one
who needed help. He’s a man, part of the
patriarchy, how can he be a victim?
In 2015, just after Amber and Johnny tied
the knot, the UK outlawed ‘coercive control’
— the attempt by one partner to bully and
dominate another. But when the law was
announced by Karen Bradley, the then min-
ister for preventing abuse and exploitation,
she made it quite clear who needed protect-
ing: ‘No one should live in fear,’ she said,
‘which is why this government has made
ending violence against women and girls a
priority.’ In 2016, The Archers ran the story
of timid Helen and Rob, her controlling hus-
band, and for a while after that no women’s
magazine was complete without a ten-point
checklist: ‘How to tell if you’re dating a male
narcissist.’ Diagnostic jargon spilled over
from psychology into ordinary marital argu-
ments, which was useful for a while. ‘Don’t
gaslight me,’ I once said to my husband mid-
row. It felt very empowering. ‘I’m not gas-
lighting you, I’m just disagreeing with you,’
he said. ‘There’s got to be a difference.’
I’m not suggesting that Amber has a per-
sonality disorder — who knows what the
next episode of the Johnny and Amber show
will reveal? He’s currently suing her for def-
amation and loss of earnings over the Pirates
of the Caribbean affair. Amber says Depp is
trying to ‘victim blame’ her and the record-
ings are being ‘twisted’.
But as we Archers fans know, it is text-
book narcissist to accuse your partner of
the crimes you yourself have committed —
domestic violence, say — and to taunt them
with the fact that no one will listen. It’s text-
book narcissist to pose as the victim when
in fact you’ve been the bully all along.W
hen it was first reported that John-
ny Depp had been hit and pelted
with crockery by his slight, blonde
then wife, Amber Heard, I’m afraid my first
reaction was disdain. Johnny and Amber
recorded their rows on their mobile phones
(as you do) and a ‘reliable source’ leaked
the recording: ‘I was hitting you, it was
not punching you,’ Amber says to Johnny.
‘Babe, you’re not punched.’ Then, exasper-
ated: ‘You are such a baby. Grow the fuck up
Johnny... I did not hurt you, I did not punch
you, I was hitting you.’
At first my sympathies were with Amber.
C’mon Johnny, c’mon Captain Jack Spar-
row, can’t a lady throw a plate or two?
Surely a slap, under provocative circum-
stances, is OK? The TV of my youth was
full of ladies with shoulder pads slapping
men. Barely a week went by on Dynasty
without Joan Collins, as Alexis Carrington,
clipping some cowering chap. Very satisfy-
ing it was too.
It’s worse for a man to hit a woman than
the other way around. You might think you
disagree — most millennials are bound to
disagree — but think of Hollywood, that
mirror of all our souls. Think of the hun-
dreds of jolly romcoms in which the girl gets
to swat the guy — he’s come on too strong
maybe, or there’s a misunderstanding. No
big deal. Now just imagine a romcom in
which the male protagonist loses his rag and
smacks his love interest.
A week after the recording was leaked,
another window opened up into the Heard/
Depp love nest; another demented record-
ing found its way to the Mail, and after this
one, the affair can be seen in a very differ-
ent light. My whole gung-ho approach to
women slapping men looks different and
I’m having to rethink my prejudices, which
is uncomfortable.
‘Tell the world, Johnny, tell them: I John-
ny Depp, a man, I’m a victim too of domestic
violence...’ This is Amber taunting John-
ny, hissing at him, daring him to go public.
‘You’re bigger and you’re stronger. I was a
115lb woman... You’re going to get up on
the stand, Johnny, and say “She started it’’?
Really? Just see how many people believe or
side with you.’ It was as if the whole drama
suddenly changed genre, from a portrait ofIt never occurred to me or
the usual activists that Johnny
could be the one who needed help‘Oh no! What have I tweeted.. ?’Mary Wakefield_29 Feb 2020_The Spectator 25 26/02/2020 10:54